anything and everything

Nolan, Zafir, and Raziel

"I'm sorry baby. Nolan, look at me, I'm sorry." Raziel apologized, taking Nolan's face to try to make him meet his gaze.  Nolan I stead turned away from Raziel and stuck his arm under the cool water from the sink.

"It was an accident. I mean- I didn't mean to burn you Nolan. I got mad, it was just a little push. I didn't know the stove was still hot." Raziel continued with his apologies.

Nolan shook his head, physically shaking from the stress and pain in his arm. He couldn't think with all these voices around him.

His dad took the girls out for dinner but Nolan has said he wasn't feeling well so he could sneak Raziel in. How was he going to explain this burn?

"Please, look at me? I'm so, so sorry. Let me make this better." Raziel hugged Nolan from the back and kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry Nolan."

A few tears slipped from Nolan's eyes, escaping down the drain with the rest of the water. Why did he feel so guilty?

'i forgive you.' Nolan signed, turning off the water and drying it with a towel. It still burned but it was a bit better now.

"You're crying..." Raziel noticed when Nolan finally faces him. "oh Nolan."

Nolan wiped away his tears. It just hurt. A lot. He was trying to fight them away.

"Please stop crying. I feel so terrible."

'im sorry.' it was the most familiar sign to Nolan. I'm sorry. He hurt Raziel far more than Raziel ever hurt him.

Nolan rested his forehead on Raziels shoulder, returning his hug with one arm and resting in his warmth.

He should have been more careful. Raziel pushed him, he didnt know the stove was hot. It was an accident. Raziel would never do that on purpose.

*
*
*
*
*

"McDonald's or Champs for dinner?" Raziel asked, picking Nolan up from practice. He'd just recently joined the band and was learning their songs. He was a lot younger than the others but they accepted him anyways.

'Mcdonalds.' it was cheaper and Raziel always complained about prices when they went out to eat. They both worked but Raziel always paid for their dates so Nolan had to be careful how expensive they were.

"Why do you always choose the cheaper option?" Raziel asked. "I'm offering to take you somewhere nice."

'sorry. Last week you said we spent too much.'

"That was last week. Whatever, fine, we'll go to McDonald's."

Nolan looked down at his lap in shame before buckling into the car. Maybe he shouldn't always choose the cheaper one. That was probably offensive.

'we can go to champs if you want.' Nolan tried after a moment.

"I'm trying to focus on the road. We'll talk later."

'im sorry.'

"I just said that's distracting. Stop."

Nolan sunk down into his seat, clutching onto his own hands to keep them down.

I'm sorry. Nolan mouthed the words but not a sound came out. He knew it wouldn't but sometimes he had to try. Just to magically see if his voice returned. Nolan rested his head against the window of the car to instead watch the scenery go by.

After about five minutes of silence Raziel sighed. "And now you're mad at me again."

'im not mad.'

"You're giving me the silent treatment."