anything and everything

Raziel and his Angels

"get out." Raziel didn't have to look at the door to know who just walked into his dorm. His roommate was gone for the weekend and only one other person would come in without knocking.

"I haven't seen you all week..." Anton stepped into the dorm and shut the door behind him.

"I locked my door for a reason. How did you even get in?" Raziel still sat on his couch, looking at the TV instead of his partner.

"Hmmm." Anton only hummed. He walked into the room, over to the side of the futon. "Why are you avoiding us."

"I told you to leave."

"You don't want that." Anton continued to speak calm and softly despite Raziels rising annoyance.

Raziel glared at the TV but didn't dignify Anton with a response this time. Anton sighed and moved in front of the TV and crossed his arm, not going to allow himself to be ignored.

Raziel groaned and shut off the TV, getting up to retreat to somewhere else in the dorm. Maybe crawl into his bed or something.

"Raziel." Anton caught him around the waist. "Talk to me."

"Let go!" Raziel spun around to face Anton, his hand raised like he was going to strike.

But he didn't. He stopped himself and clenched his fist instead. Many emotions raced through his eyes before he forced his arm down. "Get out."

"No." Anton was perfectly calm, gazing into Raziels eyes without a hint of fear or anger despite the threat to hit him.

"Please, Anton." The anger in Raziel was slowly melting away. He hated how pathetic he sounded. "Leave."

"Why should I?" Anton kept Raziel firmly caught in his hold. Raziel tried to step away but found himself stuck.

"Idiot!" Raziel shoved his chest, trying to get him to let go. "Listen to me! I want you to leave!"

"What do you want?" Anton asked. He knew that wasn't the truth.

"I want you gone!" Let go Anton. Raziel clenched his fists then dropped them again. Don't. Don't do something stupid.

"What do you want?" Anton repeated. "don't lie."

"I'm not lying!"

"Then why do you want me gone?"

"I don't want to hurt you!" When did he start crying? Raziel didn't even realize he was until he glared up at Anton and found his vision blurry.

"Ehe... that's the truth."

"Why won't you listen to me? You need to leave. I answered your question so - so get out." Raziels attempts to get away from Anton weren't as strong anymore. The hand on his chest just rested there.

"You won't hurt me." Anton sounded so confident when he said it.

"I will. It's been a really bad week okay? My temper is short right now. I need to take my stress out on something and I don't... I don't want it to be you." A few more tears slid freely down his cheeks but he wiped them away.

He had a really bad week. A bad test, a bad day, a bad nights rest. He was frustrated and tired. But more than that he was scared. He was scared that if he let himself be around his boyfriends, he was going to hurt them. Just like he did to Nolan when he was mad.

"Would it make you feel better to hit me?" Anton asked.

"No!" Raziels voice cracked when he said it. He didn't want to hurt Anton. That's why he'd been avoiding the four of them! He didn't want to give himself the chance to hurt them. He was dangerous like this.