Following the Stars

Chapter Sixty Three

Dinner was a fairly quiet affair for the three Depp's and Lexie, the children had been in the sun all day and were tired from a lot of swimming and exercise, Lexie had a lot on her mind and Johnny seemed to notice. He purposely sourced from the main cellar the same type of wine he had taken to her house a year prior but she politely declined a glass which slightly disappointed him.

After clearing away the meal, and tidying the kitchen both kids were spent and wished their father a goodnight, Lexie went up to help Lily with some skincare so Johnny took this opportunity to take a smoke on the patio around the pool. He contemplated life, and wondered what had got Lexie so worked up and down, maybe it was the continued headlines about her? Or the upcoming sentencing of her attacker getting to her, he admitted to himself he hadn't given it much thought with how busy they had both been recently but she was still majorly in recovery from the attack and mentally scarred by it. Maybe now they were slowing down again it was playing on her mind. He was sure that was it and stubbed out the cigarette as his girl came to the door. She looked extremely pale. Almost like she had just been sick. "Johnny?" "Yes darling?" "Can I talk to you?" He nodded and stood. "Join me?" She slowly walked out and sat in the chair opposite him, she was playing with her hands and looking anywhere but his face. "Darling, what is it? You've been off colour for a while?" "Yes, about that.." she started but he interrupted her "Do you think you pushed yourself too hard on the press tour? It's still early days you know, if you need stronger meds again we can get them for you, I'm sure there will be a doctor in Nice or Cannes that will see you." "Johnny, I'm not in a lot of pain.." "Ok.. then what's wrong?" "I don't know how to tell you, I really am sorry, I don't know how this has happened..." he was starting to worry. Whatever it was he knew they could deal with it. He just wished she would confide in him. "Darling?" He questioned and finally she looked up, she had tears pooling in her eyes. "Lexie, what is it?" "Johnny, I'm pregnant."

All the blood rushed from his face, he suddenly felt very peculiar. Had she just said the words he thought she said? He almost forgot to breathe but gasped finally for air after a moment too long. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she looked down at her hands again. "Pregnant?" He said quietly but firmly. "Yes." She said before breaking down into sobs. Was having his baby that bad? He was shocked that she was so against the idea. Granted it wasn't ideal timing but this had to be a blessing in disguise surely? After all the shit he had been through maybe this was a new chapter for him. A second act? He stood up abruptly and pushed his hands through his hair. He felt very split. On one hand he was elated at the idea of being a father again, on the other he knew that with everything going on, the age gap and the simple fact they hadn't even been together for a year, filled him with dread. Lexie's sobs distracted him as he rushed to her side and knelt down. "Darling, please don't cry." He said wrapping an arm round her. "It's such a mess." She said wiping her cheek. "A mess?" Johnny questioned secretly heartbroken she felt that way. "Yes, you'll think I've trapped you when I swear I haven't. I haven't missed one single pill since we started sleeping together, you don't want another baby, you've never mentioned long term or the future and now I'm pregnant at totally the wrong time." She broke down again. Johnny's eyes widened. "Lexie, I know this is not your fault, when you do what we do as often as we do, it was inevitable that perhaps this would happen. Secondly, I would never blame you no matter what, it takes two of us to do this, and thirdly, it's not the best timing I'll give you that. Goodness knows what your folks are gonna think me knocking up their only daughter before marriage but we will make this work," those words brought even more tears to Lexie's eyes, Johnny took them as further sad tears and comforted her more. "Darling, you do want this right? I know we've never spoken about it but I always had you down as wanting kids?" Lexie looked up "God yes. I've always wanted to be a mum, so badly, especially after seeing how hard it was on my parents to not have anymore children I wouldn't want to jeopardise any of it, but I just don't think I can do it on my own." "Lexie Donnington! What sort of man do you take me for? I would never ever let you do this alone. No way, you are my girl, and this is our baby.." he placed his hand gently on her summer dress right on her tummy. "We are a team ok?" He continued.  She smiled through her tears, and he lent in "I love you so much, mother of my baby." Johnny finished his sentence with a gentle kiss, "I love you too Johnny. So so much," "now no more tears ok? How about a walk round the gardens to discuss this a little more?" Lexie nodded and slowly stood. She held onto Johnny's hand ridiculously tight and he new now more than ever she needed reassurance.

They walked and talked for nearly an hour doing lap after lap of the garden. "How far along do you think you are?" "I need to get checked, so far I've missed two and I was due this week but nothing happened." "Fuck, so you could be like 12 weeks?" "Yeah. I can't believe it." "Ok I'll call Nicola first thing tomorrow, we will source a midwife here who can check you out." Lexie smiled although she was an organised person it felt right to let somebody else do that for now. "And then what do we do?" "Then we get a cute little sonogram of Baby D and decide who we are going to tell first." "God then it will feel even more real, do you think the children will hate me?" "Hate you? How could they hate you?" "Well same reason everyone will, trapping you with a baby." "Darling you haven't trapped me, and besides I think they'll love a sibling. At least with the age gap we will have decent sitters, and if they are rubbish at it, we can just threaten them with being grounded." This made Lexie smile. "You talk as if this will be forever." "Well darling I want it to be, don't you?" Johnny said sadly. "God yes." "Then let's get hitched." He stopped and looked at her. "No Johnny, don't be silly, we aren't getting married just because I'm pregnant," "Lexie I want to do this right." "Rushing into marriage would not be doing things right." "I get you. Ok can I get a rain check on the question though?" "Johnny, later down the line if we are at that point then yes, ask me to marry you. We don't have to do things traditionally like everyone expects." "I know Mon Chéri." "I love you." "I love you too my darling. Now come on, you need to rest." Lexie smiled "is this how the next few months are gonna go?" "Just be thankful that I'm in such shock I forgot to offer to carry you on this walk."

Lexie climbed into bed in a satin cami and shorts set, she still felt very emotional and fragile but having Johnny wrap his arms round her reassuringly filled her with hope. She knew they could make this work, she just wanted to get things firmed up before making a plan. She hadn't slept well in recent nights due to the overwhelming anxiety but she hoped tonight would be different. Johnny's hand rested gently on her tummy. "Night my darling. Night baby." He giggled in her ear. "Goodnight Johnny.."