Princess (Ziam)

Bargain

So... I feel iffy about this chapter, but enjoy! The book mentioned, by the way, is probably one of my faves!

Also, trigger warning for mentions of alcoholism and self-harm. Also, a slight mentioning of eating disorders. Please read safely. ❤

Chapter 25:

I walked into my house, still rethinking the events of today as I locked the front door behind me and made my way down the hallway. I stopped outside of my room, taking a deep breath and hoping Zayn was asleep or something so he wouldn't see the prominent bruise on my cheek. I knew I would have no such luck.

I opened the door and stood in the doorway, seeing a stack of books on the bedside table, one in Zayn's hand as he flipped through the pages, and I set my backpack down. "You know, you read an awful lot." He spoke up, knowing it was me at the door. He turned the page and continued reading. "Most of these have common themes. Love, loss, hardships. This one's my favorite." He said, holding up the book with a cover of the night sky. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe.

"They're a weird match, but they work. Complete opposites. I'd see you as Dante, and I wish you could have been as happy as he was." He said, and I thought about the book. How Dante knows he likes Ari, even if Ari doesn't know he likes Dante back. I thought of how Dante got beat up for being gay, similar to my real life. But if I was Dante, Zayn would have to be my Ari. The fact that he denied his feelings, kept them closed up, hurt me in ways he didn't mean to. It fit too well.

"I'm glad they made it in the end." He said, closing the book and looking up at me, immediately setting the book down and standing up, walking over to me swiftly. He grabbed onto my face, and I saw a swirl of rage and concern in his eyes.

"What did that son of a bitch do?" He growled, glaring at the purplish bruise on my cheekbone. He padded at it gently, and I flinched a bit in pain.

"Nothing. I'm fine." I said, moving his hand away and attenpting to change the subject. "Have you been reading my books all day?" I questioned, but I never got a reply.

"I never should have stayed. I should have went to school with you." Zayn said, speaking to himself, and I didn't like the fact that he was blaming himself for the decision I made. "When I see that asshole, I'm gonna-"

"He only hit me a few times. Louis stepped in and stopped him." I said with a sigh, not wanting to talk about my bullying problems at the moment. "It's fine."

"It isn't. I promised myself that I would protect you. I didn't protect you, princess." He said, grabbing onto my face again and resting his forehead against mine. "It's my job to protect you." He whispered.

I looked into his eyes, seeing him stare back before looking down at my lips, and I smiled sadly as I shook my head. "No it isn't. It's not your job." I began, fearing how Zayn would react to what I was going to say next. "We're not dating, Zayn." I let out, feeling his hold on me tighten a bit as he looked me right in the eyes.

"We're not together. Hell, I don't even know if we're friends." I said, pulling back from his hold a bit, and he gripped onto my arm, keeping me close. "It's all a big, confusing mind game, and I have no idea why I stick around if I'm honest." I confessed, seeing immediate fear in Zayn's eyes.

"No. No, no. You promised not to leave me." He reminded, and I remembered that. The thing was, I didn't think I could leave Zayn. Not when I felt so close to him already. "You promised you wouldn't leave me, princess. I- I can't lose you."

"You won't." I said, knowing how vulnerable he was right now. I sighed again, seeming to be doing that a lot lately, and rested my forehead against his this time. "It just all hurts. So much."