Princess (Ziam)

Whole

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I have been debating on whether or not I should enter this story into the wattys, and I sort of want to do it. I don't expect to win any awards, but it could be a fun time. What do you guys think?

I hope you all enjoy this chapter. All the love! ❤

Chapter 50:

It was completely silent as my mum and I sat on the couch. There were so many words that could be spoken, but I had no clue which to follow. I didn't know how to start the conversation because I was afraid of allowing my hurt to take the lead and ruin things again. I didn't want to risk my relationship with my mum. Not when we use to be so close.

I didn't have to speak first, however, because my mum decided to speak up instead. "Liam, I know I've messed up," She began, and I couldn't meet her eyes no matter how hard I tried. I trained my eyes on the two glasses of pink lemonade that my mum set down in front of us instead.

Pink lemonade. It was always a drink that I found odd. The softness that the pink brought seemed to mix unusually well with the sour of the lemon flavor. Sweet, yet sour. Almost like the current situation we were in.

"I've been... such a bad mum," She said, and I heard the waver in her voice. She was getting emotional, and I knew it was an inevitable part of this conversation, but it made me feel like everything was dropping down on me again. Another weight that I had to lift.

"When Colette first told me about the abuse, I sat for hours questioning if I should believe her or not. She told me to check the basement, and I sat down in the hall, staring at the basement door, too afraid to open it. And I think a part of me knew the truth in that moment," She described, her eyes drifting down and meeting mine, but I didn't think I wanted them to anyway. It would be too much too soon.

"When I finally worked up the courage to walk inside, I saw it all. It was like a horror show in real life. The chains and the blood, I just... I couldn't even think. I could only feel," She said, and I understood what she meant. I couldn't think either when I found her in the basement, and everything I felt in that moment led to me hurting myself even more. Every decision seemed to be worse than the one before. I pushed my mum out, I closed myself off, and I left Zayn all at once.

"And I was still stuck in that 'feeling phase' where all I could think about was the pain, regret, and betrayal," She confessed. She lifted her head up to look me in the eyes, and I broke contact again, staring at anything else.

"I said I still loved your father, and I know how much that must've hurt you. I'm suppose to be your mum. I'm suppose to protect you from harm, not cause it. And I'm sorry. If you felt betrayed, hurt, shocked, stabbed by my words, anything worse than all of that combined, I am so sorry."

"I did," I replied, speaking for the first time since we sat down together. I felt like I should try and communicate my feelings as well. I always seemed to hide things from her, and I didn't want to do that anymore. I needed people to lean on, and I needed my mum.

"I felt all of those feelings. Mainly betrayal," I admitted. I knew it would kill her to know the things I felt, but I had to let it be known. "I felt like you lied to me when you said that I always came first. I felt like you were taking his side in a way. It was like... it was like you were completely overlooking the bruises and pain he caused me over countless years."

Silence fell between us after that, and I found myself gripping onto the couch cushion below me as I began my next statement. "Then I felt ashamed in myself," I continued, and I felt my mum shift closer to me a bit before she rested her hand on my shoulder.