Princess (Ziam)

Difficult

Well, I feel like utter crap, but here's an update guys. 😝

Chapter 26:

I stared down at my tray of food, knowing that Zayn was watching me. I know we made this deal, and I really wanted Zayn to be okay, but it was hard to hold up my end of the bargain.

I lifted my fork to my mouth, feeling my stomach give an immediate resistance to any intake of food, but I had to. I took a deep breath, shutting my eyes before I ate the food laying on the fork's surface. Every single chew was pure torture, and I instantly felt full of regret. I wanted to spit it out and cry, thinking about how unattractive and useless I was.

I opened my eyes after I swallowed the food, looking at Zayn to see him hiding a small, approving smile behind his hand. It calmed my nerves just a bit, making my emotions manageable.

I turned as Louis walked over to the table, sitting beside me and immediately looking away from all of the guys. "Can we not sit here today?" He asked, and I knew he was afraid. The other guys obviously didn't like me for my sexuality, but they were friends with Louis. How would they react?

"Finally makes sense, Tomlinson. Why you suddenly began to hang out with the fag." One of the guys said, laughing along with all of the others, and I noticed Zayn tense up at the word, but he brushed it off.

"What are you talking about?" He asked them, and they turned to Zayn, all of them seeming to try to get his attention. It was as if they needed his approval on the things they said. They were clearly all followers, and it marveled me how Zayn didn't realize the power he had over people.

"You didn't hear, yet? Tomlinson confessed to the whole school yesterday. He's 100% gay. He's a little fucked up fag also. Want us to kick him off the table for you?" They asked, and I saw Zayn's jaw clench in anger before he turned to look at Louis.

"Is this true, Lou?" He asked, and I watched silently as Louis stared at his plate, visibly shaking at the fear of meeting his best friend's eyes. It was wrong. He shouldn't be afraid of someone he knew so well. Then again, I was terrified of Zayn. Terrified of the things he makes me feel and how he could rip it all away in a split second.

"I- I mean... I, uh...." He trailed off, and I saw him shake his head in disappointment as he got up and rushed away from the table, the other guys laughing and throwing pieces of food or plastic forks and spoons at him.

Zayn sat completely still.

He stared blankly at the table in front of him, allowing the bullying to happen. He looked up to meet my eyes, and I shook my head, feeling so angry as I got up and ran after Louis. He didn't deserve this. Nobody deserved to feel the way I've felt for so many years.

"Louis!" I called, running after his figure down the hallway. He tried to walk faster, but I caught up to him, grabbing his shoulder and turning him around to be met with tears streaming down his face at the embarrassment.

"He hates me." He whimpered, and I knew he meant Zayn. I couldn't imagine what it would feel like to think your best friend hated you. I can't imagine what it feels like to be so in with a group only to be tossed out. But I did know what it felt like to have people torment you. I knew what it felt like to have someone so close to you only hurt you; to have someone you looked up to only scar you.

"He just sat there and... I couldn't admit it to him. He's given you hell for so many years, and I can't... he won't understand. What if he... fuck, what if he goes after Harry? What if he hurts him? Liam, I can't let anyone hurt him." He cried out, shaking and sobbing in the middle of the empty hallway.

"Louis, nobody is going to hurt Harry. They don't know a thing about him. They don't know his name, what he looks like, who he is. He'll be okay. I promise. And he'd be so proud of you for being brave enough to come out. Hell, I'm proud of you because you still did it even after seeing the torment I went through for it. You're brave, Louis. Don't let Zayn push you back in again." I expressed.