Princess (Ziam)

Heaven

It's time, guys... I am so nervous to post this chapter.

Warning: Mentions of physical/sexual abuse, self-harm, small mentions of religion, and of near suicide. Please, please, please read carefully. I love you all, and I really do care about you guys.

Love always. 💕
(P.S. BDS is broken. If you know what I mean.)

Chapter 28:

"Why did you show me this?" I asked, looking down at the journal that was still in my hands. I set it down on the bed before snuggling a bit closer to Zayn. Laying in his bed seemed to be the only thing that brought so much comfort. Laying close to him seemed to be the only thing that made me feel okay.

"Because I wanted you to know." He simple replied, our eyes never looking away from each others. I couldn't look away. It was terrying to admit, but I felt like Zayn was the center of my universe. It all revolved around him. Everything I did.

"The last one..." I trailed off, suddenly becoming nervous under his endearing gaze. "Was it about me?" I questioned. I didn't know what I wanted the answer to be. If it was a no, I would probably feel disappointed, wishing Zayn felt that way toward me. If it was a yes, I would fall even deeper into the story that is Zayn's life.

"Yes." He smiled softly, lifting his hand up and moving a piece of hair that fell flat against my face. "It was." He admitted, and I was suddenly paralyzed under Zayn's gaze. He truly shared his deepest emotions, and I was thankful for that. I didn't know how to repay him for that.

We laid there silently, our eyes searching one anothers for a sign of, well, anything. That deep connection we both must be feeling but simply brush aside. I saw so much behind Zayn's eyes, and I finally felt as if that window that was locked up was now open, allowing me to see inside.

"Zayn," I gulped, looking away from his eyes and down to his arm, trailing my fingers against the tanned skin and watching the way the hairs stood up as goosebumps formed. "What happened to you?" I questioned, closing my eyes and hoping he wouldn't push me away, not after everything.

"My dad hurt me. And my mum never knew." He whispered out, his voice becoming thick with emotions, and I looked back up at him, seeing that he never stopped looking at me.

"How?" I asked, and I saw him swallow thickly, his jaw clenching as the memories seemed to build behind his beautiful eyes. Zayn was a beautiful person, and I couldn't believe he was so destroyed on the inside- alone for so long.

"Liam... promise me... promise that you won't leave me if I tell you this. Promise me that you... promise that you'll stay." He begged, and I saw the tears building in his eyes this time. His voice was thick and heavy, hoarse and dry. And he had the vulnerability of a child, clinging on to anything to keep them safe.

I grabbed his hand tightly in mine, pressing a kiss to his knuckles as I looked him in the eyes, letting him know I was here. Even if it hurt... I would be here.

"I'm not leaving you, Zayn." I declared, holding a steady gaze and tone of voice. "I'm your princess, remember?" I reminded, seeing a thankful smile form on his lips before he looked down and took a deep breath. I knew this was hard for him, and I never wanted to leave him alone. I wouldn't dream of it.

"M-my dad he..." He stuttered out, his grip on my hand tightening, and I allowed it. I wouldn't pull away. I'd let him hold onto me as tightly as he needed to, and I'd be here, holding him just as he held me when my dad raised havoc.

"He touched me. The way a father shouldn't." He announced shakily, and my heart dropped. I felt like everything was so far away. Like nothing was real. Like this confession wasn't real. Because Zayn was everything to me. Everything and more. And he didn't deserve it. Nobody deserved it.