Princess (Ziam)

Mend

I am so excited for tonight! About eight hours until Harry will be on SNL. I'm ready for feels!

Now, here's another update for my amazing readers! Seriously, guys, this story has 170k, and I am so thrilled.

And about the end-- don't worry! I will tell you guys when we are close to the end, but we will have quite a journey to go, so be prepared to continue the ride.

Enjoy 💕 (Also, new letters 😜)

Chapter 40:

I was scared and confused. I didn't know what Zayn and I were anymore. I knew how we both felt, but he only knew that I was afraid. And I was too much of a coward to actually explain how the pain I held in my heart was because I loved him so much it hurt.

I was laying down on my bed, just staring at the ceiling and thinking about everything that occured last night. From the moment I saw Zayn to the moment when our lips met. It was all so frustrating yet calming. My mind was on an overload as I tried to figure out what the hell we were suppose to do now.

Because things still weren't okay. My dad's hearing was right around the corner, and I didn't know if I was brave enough to go up there and actually make a statement. I didn't know if I was strong enough to face him again, in a place where others would be able to hear anything I confessed. The thought terrorized me.

And this dark secret seemed to be the only thing that kids gossiped about at school. It both pissed me off and made me want to hide out in my room like I always did. It was none of their business, and they had no right to pretend it actually affected them. I just wish I could walk down a hall without getting sympathetic stares. Hell, even my counselor decided to check up on me, which I found ironic when I considered the fact that she never checked up on me even when I met with her to fix my schedule and harboured bruises on my skin.

I looked up as I heard my door open, and I sighed as I saw my mum step inside. "Liam, I made lunch if you want any." She informed, her voice wary and full of concern. I despised it. I didn't want to be treated like a ticking time bomb even if I may be one right now.

"I'm not hungry." I said. It's been a while since I've eaten, and I felt the shame of it. I felt guilty about breaking my part of the deal I made with Zayn, but he probably broke his as well. Why would he keep it when I wasn't even around to enforce it anymore?

I heard my mum sigh before stepping further into my room. "Liam, you need to eat. I'm worried about you. Now that I'm seeing the truth, I'm seeing how much you're hurting yourself as well." She said, and that statement made me frustrated with her.

"Really? You want to tell me about hurting myself? What about you, huh?" I asked, sitting up in my bed to look her in the eyes, and she looked away. I scoffed at her, and maybe I was being really harsh, but I was stressed out.

"I'm not doing anything. I'm just trying to talk to you." She said, keeping her voice level when all I wanted was for her to show some type of emotion besides her guilt, sympathy, and false kindness. "Why won't you talk to me?" She asked, and I was almost shocked by the question.

"Why won't I talk to you? What are we suppose to talk about? How my own dad beat me for years yet you still love him? Do you want to talk about that?" I threw at her, and maybe it was a low blow, but I couldn't take this conversation right now. I couldn't take the way it felt to be around my mum. Almost like she resented me for existing and ruining her happy ever after.

"Mum, how can you still love him?" I asked, trying to rationalize it and understand it. She always said I came first, yet she sat around mourning the loss of him as if he dropped dead. He hurt me in one of the worst ways, and she admitted to me that she still loves him.