Princess (Ziam)

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Zayn's new song is lovely btw 🌹

Also, today is Jay's birthday 💔 still can't believe she's gone. Love her so much and Louis will make her proud at the festival tonight.

Back to Liam's POV guys. Read on.

Chapter 37:

I jumped awake from my nightmare, still able to feel the panic and fear that it seared into me. I saw my dad's face over and over again, telling me how he would hurt Zayn, how he would hurt my mum, how he would hurt me. And I felt pure terror at the fact that I would still have to see him at the court hearing; then every night in my nightmares.

I clung onto Zayn's jacket, trying to salvage any bit of protection it offered, but it felt cold. So cold without the person here that the jacket belonged to. And that thought brought it all back. All of the fear was washed away, leaving nothing but the paralyzing pain that shot through my body like a double barreled shot gun.

And I yelled out in pain, feeling like someone dug their hand into my chest and ripped away freely at my heart, mangling and shressing it to pieces as if it was nothing but litter on the ground. My yell was only interrupted as a sob ripped through my throat, making me scratch at my face in a newfound blistering torture.

Nobody was home. I knew nobody was home, and the realization brought on a lonliness that shook me to my core. My worst fear was coming true, and I didn't know how to react. I couldn't function, and it felt as if all of my breathing was cut off.

I gasped for breath inbetween sobs, scratching at my own skin and hugging the jacket as close as possible, feeling my whole body shake in its agony. I couldn't focus my vision on anything and knowing that only proved to make me freak out even more, losing a grasp on reality, yet not fixing a single thing the reality came with.

I saw that it was dark outside, too dark. My mum should have been back by now.

Maybe she didn't want me. Maybe I caused her enough trouble. Maybe she ditched me; left while she could. Maybe my dad was right. He was right, and I was worthless. I was alone. Always alone. Alone - just like I left Zayn alone.

I sat up in bed, trying to focus on anything, anything at all to suppress the massive amounts of pain that were flooding through me as if the dam wall had barely broken. The waters were rushing in futile attempts to put out the fires I set, but they were already spiraling out of control.

I was spiraling out of control.

I felt my breathing turn to pants as I struggled to cling on to any bit of sanity. The dream crashed through my mind again, colliding along with all of my mistakes and moments of weakness. All of it led me to this moment, and maybe I deserved it.

My vision became blurry as I felt myself fading in and out of consciousness, breathing quickly and feeling warm tears run along the expanse of my cheeks. There was nothing I could do but panic... until I heard the window open and quickly felt two arms wrap around me.

"Shit, Liam." I heard the voice that I loved fill the room, and it only caused me even more pain. The betrayal played over and over in my mind mixed with the fear of my father's threats. He would kill Zayn, and he would kill me.

"Go... away!" I panted out, feeling myself topple off the edge of sanity. There was nothing I could do about it. It was like my mind wouldn't listen to me. The emotions took over. The fear, pain, shame, anger, torment, and love. They crashed against one another as if they were riding the rapids.

Still, I couldn't find it in myself to deny how wonderfully torturous it felt to be wrapped in his arms again. It warmed up my insides, but I could hardly take enjoyment from it at all.