Princess (Ziam)

Mess

Little hesitant to post this, but I hope it'll satisfy. Thanks for all of the support. ❤

Enjoy :)

Chapter 43:

I walked quietly to school, thinking about the ups and downs of my life within the past week. It was all a messy rollercoaster, a tangle of webs, but parts of it gave me nothing but clarity.

The ups were simple. My dad was no longer allowed to hurt me. I didn't have to see him. I didn't have to bleed anymore by his hands. I had a place where I felt at home. Maybe it wasn't my actual house, but it was better than nothing. It was a place I felt safe. I had people who loved me. Colette made me feel reassured through whatever trouble I was having, and she was my current mother figure. And Zayn....

Zayn was everything to me. He made me feel protected when I felt completely exposed. He made me feel sane when I was completely unstable. He loved me when I didn't even love myself. He loved me like I never knew I could be loved. He loves me. That was all I needed to know. And he treated me like royalty. As if I was above everyone and everything in his eyes. I never knew it was possible to value someone that way.

The downs in my life were few, but they were strong. My dad's hearing was in a few days, and I wasn't ready to face him again. I had no clue how to hold myself together in front of people that knew nothing of the horrors. I had no clue what I was even expected to say. All I knew was that I wanted him in jail. I wanted him to rot for the rest of his life in a cell.

Then there was my mum. I thought about how I went to check on her this morning, walking in to see her laying in bed, knocked out but seeming to have a nightmare. And I wondered if her nightmares were anything close to my own.

She was broken-- clearly. I don't think it's fully registered for her yet how truly evil the man she married turned out to be. I don't think she wants to accept the fact that her family was ruined. Her happy home was now the very wasteland that she wanted to escape. But if I had to face reality, she did, too.

I knew helping her pick herself up would take a while, but I wanted a home that felt as normal as possible. I longed for it. Me and my mum. I longed for the days ahead where we could just feel content. But we had a long road to travel before we reached our destination, and I was already feeling weary.

I was surprised when I reached the school building, completely stuck in my mind throughout the whole walk. I had no recollection of even reaching the street the school was on.

I walked inside of the big building, feeling immediately immersed in a prison myself. Because school wasn't that place you see on television shows. Where everyone knew everyone and drama happened between popular kids and the loners. No, school was a havoc of spirits. It was the place we were forces to go and spend eight hours only to forget the things we've learned within the week. It was a factory that attempted to create and send out perfectly capable human being into the world, but more than half of us were fucked up in some way. And they clung onto anyone's life that made theirs seemed less fucked up. The current news story being mine.

I walked down the halls, seeing looks of sympathy cross people's face, but I didn't want it. I still detested the fact that the same people who pushed me around had the nerve to feel sorry for me. I just wished that everyone would forget what happened and let me live a normal life.

"How are you?" I heard someone ask, and I realized I was stuck in my own mind again. I looked up to see Drew standing there, a slight smile on his lips.

"Um... good. I guess," I breathed out before walking around him and making my way to my locker. I knew that Drew and I were no longer on pure hatred terms, but we weren't friends. Acquaintances at most. But if I was being honest, his kindness made me cautious.