The Notebook//Joshler

February 22

today, i didn't leave my room.

though, i did receive several voicemails and texts from joshua.

5:15 pm

joshua<3: hey, ty.

joshua<3: i'm so sorry i said that i hate you.

joshua<3: and that i stood you up on date night.

joshua<3: and that i didn't let you kiss my cheek.

joshua<3: and that i made you have a panic attack.

joshua<3: and that i didn't even stay to help you through it.

joshua<3: and that i gave you a bruise.

joshua<3: and i know sorry doesn't cut it. i'll do anything i can to show you i do love you.

joshua<3: anything at all.

joshua<3: just tell me.

joshua<3: i'm going to start going to therapy.

joshua<3: and i'm going to learn how to control my feelings better. and i'm gonna be a better boyfriend.

joshua<3: that's if you want to continue dating.

joshua<3: if not, i understand. just please know i'll only ever love you.

then came the voicemails.

"tyler? ty, baby. it's me. it's josh. i-i hope you get my texts. i'm so, so, so sorry i treated you like that and said that i hate you. that's not how my mom raised me, and you know that. i don't know what got into me. i-i'm gonna start going to therapy now. every week. and i'm gonna learn how to be better. i love you, tyler."

thirty minutes later.

"i-i forgot to tell you, b-but i'd like you to come to my first therapy session. s-so you can talk about w-what you want me to work on. a-and i'll do all those things first. i never stopped loving you, tyler. i-i didn't mean it when i said that i-i hated you. j-just my mind got ahead of me a-and i just... i don't have an excuse, tyler. i don't. other than the fact i was just being stupid."

by the third call, josh was sobbing.

"t-tyler p-please c-come b-b-back. i-i need y-you. i-i c-can't take this. p-please j-just answer m-my texts a-and just tell me y-you're alive. i-i'm g-gonna go a-and buy flowers f-for our next date n-night," he sniffled. "i-if you still a-are wanting t-to date. b-but even if y-you don't, i-i'm s-still gonna bring you flowers e-every wednesday. i-i love you, t-tyler."

i then texted him.

tyler💕: i will come to your therapy session.

but, for now, my phone is off, and joshua will have to wait for tomorrow.

-tyler