The Notebook//Joshler

April 2

today i had my first individual therapy session.

i also made myself eat lunch in the cafeteria since i'm required to once a week. i just wanted to get it out of the way.

i felt like i was the new kid in middle school trying to find somewhere to sit.

i just sat alone at a table, a framed photo of josh set next to me. i talked to it like it was him. i told him about how therapy went yesterday and today. i told him i missed him holding me. i told him i missed kissing him every time i saw him. i told him i missed looking to make sure his family was distracted before we ran upstairs to quickly make love.

after half an hour, jenna came and got me. she said she was sorry nobody sat by me, but i told her it was ok.

it was the closest i would come to a date with joshua in a while.

we sat in my room and talked about our fiancé's. mainly, i talked about josh because she kept asking questions about him. but, i didn't mind at all.

i love talking about joshua.

"what's your favorite picture of you and him?" she asked with a smile.

i blushed and looked down, smiling shyly. "h-he took one of us snuggling after our first time. w-we looked so gross because we were both c-crying because the emotions were just so overwhelming, b-but i-it was the best night of my life. h-he proposed a-and we got to finally express l-love in a new way..."

"that's so sweet," she smiled. "you two are so perfect for each other."

"y-you and dallon sound really perfect too," i said honestly.

she smiled and nodded.

"when are you going to get married?" i asked.

"saturday," she smiled.

"oh, wow. t-that's really soon," i said. "will you show me some of the pictures w-when you get back?"

"no, silly," she exclaimed. "i want you to come!"

"r-really?!"

"yes! if you do really well, i can probably get you an excused leave for the day," she smiled. "maybe josh could come as well."

"JENNA!" i exclaimed, tackling her in a hug.

she giggled and hugged me back tightly.

"you'll get to meet joshie!" i exclaimed.

"i know! i'm so excited! just keep being amazing like you have been so far and it'll happen."

"o-ok," i said. "but, wait... how will josh know?"

"you'll see him all day friday, still. then he could pick you up saturday morning and bring you back that night," she said.

"ok," i smiled. "t-thank you."

"i'm so excited!" she exclaimed.

"so am i," i said.

it'll be josh and i's first wedding together. and maybe we could do something alone afterwards before he has to bring me back.

-tyler