A Whole Bunch of Loki's

Lit A Match and Set His Life on Fire - Sequel to This Fool, This Liar

(Requested by Ellie on AO3)

You didn't need the test, you already knew the answer and yet you decided to try it for your own sake of mind.

It had been quite a task to find someone selling what you needed on this planet, but you'd managed to after a small hunt and forked out the expense just for clarification.

However, the expectation didn't stop your heart from dropping when the test showed a positive result, tears still welled in your eyes as your blood ran cold through your veins.

Your throat ached as you tried to hold back the tears of both faint joy and deep regret as you lowered the test, the tiny hovel you once called a home suddenly enclosing in around you and making you feel claustrophobic.

Leaving the bathroom only made the situation worse, looking around all you could see and feel were things that reminded you of him, the one who had stuck you in this situation and left without ever knowing the full consequences.

Loki had made sure that this place no longer felt like a home to you and you vowed to yourself that you would find a way off Sakaar before it was too late.

----------

"Here you go, honey."

You pushed on top of the sippy-cup lid one more time to make sure it was secured before setting it down on the white tray of the highchair.

Blue eyes stared up at you, happy to finally have her juice.

It pained you to think, but you had always wished she'd gotten a different eye and hair colour, it would save each squeeze of pain the combination of blue and black conjured in your heart.

She was a beautiful girl, that was something you had never denied since day one.

However she looked so much like Loki, perhaps sharing more features with him than with you, that some days it was too much to think about.

Your mind always instantly scolded you for having any negative thoughts and yet at times you couldn't help the build up of resentment you'd feel towards her, no matter how fleeting, for reminding you of that man.

It was beginning to get harder to hide now that she was getting older and was undoubtedly becoming more alert to the emotion and social cues of those around her, but sometimes just looking at her caused tears to well up in your weary eyes.

You'd lost track of how often you'd wept over her likeness to him when she was younger, it was getting better now that she was finally becoming a toddler and growing into her own person, but there were times it still hurt.

Since returning to Earth you had contemplated seeking some kind of professional help, for so long you had felt that it wasn't natural to look at your daughter and sometimes barely be able stomach the sight of her.

Whilst you were still carrying her there would be instances that you'd feel some form of emotional detachment, hours were spent wondering if you were truly capable of giving her the kind of life she deserved and adoption had come to mind a few times.

Each time you'd give yourself a thorough telling off and marched on, despite moments of doubt you were determined to show this child the best life she could have.

It wasn't fair to punish a child for the actions of the parent.

"Drink up, young lady, we're going for a walk once you're done."

She replied with a word close to, but still not quite; "park!" and managed to dribble a bit of blackcurrant juice down her chin.

With a soft laugh, you ripped off a small piece from the roll of paper towels on the sideboard and walked over to her.