A Whole Bunch of Loki's

Sæti - Request

My darling little Sæti,

I'm not entirely sure how to start this letter, truthfully, I'm not entirely sure when or if you shall even receive it.

You're but a year old and still have so much to learn and yet I still have so much to say, perhaps this is a letter I shall add on to every passing year or event.

Your mother would have liked that.

In fact, it was her that came up with the pet-name sæti, that you will no doubt notice that I have started this letter with.

Sæti or sæta means sweetie, as I'm sure you will know by the time you read this, and that was how she would always refer to you when caressing her growing stomach as you kicked from the inside.

She would laugh and smile the most beautiful smile as she said; "Our little Sæti is an active one today."

I've never seen a woman so proud to call herself your mother and, should I find another Queen to take her empty place by my side, I will be sure to remind you all the time of her.

That is only fair to her memory and her love for you.

How I wish she could see you, to watch you both smiling and laughing.

How I wish we could be a family.

But it was an opportunity that was cruelly torn from us, I'm lucky to even have you still in my life, I don't think I can ever explain just how terrified I was on that day when they tried to tear us all apart.

This feels wrong, to sit here writing such dark and disgusting thoughts as you sleep soundly in the crib beside me, wrapped up safely in my old baby blanket, but I feel if I don't do this now then I never will.

I know that you will have many questions regarding your mother as you grow older and I fear that I may never have the heart to tell the truth, so should I become a coward of a King to the truth, I will write this down here and hope that you understand my cowardice.

If you grow to despise me then I shall accept that, I would deserve no less.

But as the God of Mischief, to many the God of Lies, I know I will be unable to tell you the truth beyond the fact that your mother is gone.

I know, deep in my heart, that I will never be able to tell you how I had to look her in the eye as I struck her down.

It is a moment that will forever haunt me and I shall never forgive myself, but you need to understand that were there any other way that I would have taken it.

We tried to find a way to get her back, unfortunately she was too far gone and there was nothing I could do, it was a last resort and I regret taking that action more than I could ever express.

You see, our darling sæti, as a King or Queen, you will gain many followers but just as many enemies and we fell into a trap laid out by someone we called a friend.

I shan't go into detail, just know that they took everything from us and took your mother's mind in a way that even the greatest of sorcerers and healers couldn't mend.

Were it not for you, my need to keep you with me at every opportunity, I would have lost myself to revenge and become one of the many fallen Kings of old, whose tale is told with pitied looks and sad expressions as they explain that he lost more than he believed possible through vengeance.

It pains me every single day to know that her blood is on my hands, but what more could I do?

Many have told me nothing but that never sates me, there should have been more and I truly wish that I had had more time to figure it out before harm befell any of us but alas, it did and I shall forever feel torn about my decision.

It pains me to admit that they almost got to you as well, I feel guilty that they could harm you and I learned of this after the fact.

We were able to save you and that means more than I could ever say, there were moments when you were touch and go, we came too close to losing you too but you proved to be a strong warrior.

You will do her proud, I know you will.

You have your mother's strength and stubbornness already.

It saddens me that you'll never know your mother, that beyond the portraits on the walls you will never understand just how much you look like her and how much I both love and loathe this.

However, I don't want you to think that I love you any less for this fact.

If anything it makes me love you all the more.

I know that she is watching over us as she waits for our reunion in many years to come.

In the meantime, it is my duty to teach you everything you could possibly know about her and read all the books she put aside especially for you, she was very insistent upon you being an avid reader, so I hope for your sake that you take up her hobby lest you feel her wrath in the afterlife.

She looks forward to seeing what you become, as do I.

I shall update this when I feel it appropriate, no doubt with many many more stories about your mother.

No matter what, know that I love you.

Your King and your father,

Loki Odinson.

(Book two is now up and running, to get there easily there's an external link to click on or you can copy and paste from there: https://www.wattpad.com/story/229781468-a-whole-bunch-of-loki%27s-book-two

Happy reading!)