A Whole Bunch of Loki's

Warped Mind Games - Part Four

From that point on, every so often a letter would arrive, detailing life in Asgard and what I was missing, at times Thor would add his own section to it and say once again how he wished for me to visit.

Occasionally the letter would be accompanied with a present, typically just small things that he would spot and say made him think of me and I would be lying if I said that my stomach didn't flip a little at the cuteness of it.

I would at times send him a present back if I saw something, but those times were rare and according to Thor, Loki was more than happy to merely receive a letter from me.

Months slipped past and I could feel my softness for Loki return and I could no longer deny the part of me that missed our friendship.

After four months of exchanging letters, I took it upon myself to ask Thor for advice upon his next visit.

He joined me in my library, which was nowhere near as big as Loki's in Asgard, a table sat in the middle of the large and plush seats that faced the burning fire, the sound of crackling filling the room as we sipped on our retrospective drinks.

"So, you wanted to speak to me?"

"Yes," I nodded slowly, licking any leftover liquid from my lips to give myself a quick pause to think, "it's about Loki."

"That doesn't surprise me," he chuckled, resting his tankard against the arm of the chair.

"It doesn't?"

"No, you've only just started talking again after what happened, it's no surprise that old feelings will stir up."

"Well," I sighed, shifting so that one of my legs was tucked underneath me, "I wouldn't say old feelings, it's more that I just miss being his friend."

"That doesn't surprise me."

"I guess it wouldn't to anyone, we were friends for years."

"Since we were all children," Thor nodded, smiling fondly at what I could only guess were memories that sprung up.

"Exactly."

"And why did you want to talk to me about it?"

"Because I feel conflicted," I admitted, running my fingers through my hair and gripping the strands.

I take another moment to brace myself, sipping my drink as my mouth starts to go dry.

"What he did is still thick in my head and I don't think that'll ever go away, but he was still a valuable friend to me."

Thor nodded again, his eyes sympathetic.

"You worry that he'll hurt you again?"

"I do, but I also think it's time we met face to face and talked this over properly."

I chewed on my lip and thought back to the letter I had received a few days earlier.

Loki's birthday was coming up and as typical, they were planning on holding a party to celebrate and he had invited me to join the celebration.

This partially filled me with guilt as I hadn't even thought of inviting Loki to mine, within good and fair reason, but had invited Thor.

Though I was certain that Loki understood and would hold no grudges.

"I think that would be a good idea," Thor commented.

"You do? Why?"

"Because he misses you, what he did is perhaps inexcusable if you wish to continue a romantic relationship with him, but if you only want to be friends then all you can do is extend your branch a bit further and see if you can come to an amicable decision."

I stared at Thor then laughed softly, my fingers drumming against my goblet.

"And you truly think it would be a good idea?"

"I do, I know Loki," he rolled his eyes a little as if that fact alone was exasperating, "he isn't good with his emotions sometimes and he's too stubborn to admit what he's done wrong without a bit of pushing."

"So you believe that we stand a chance?"

"Possibly, I'd never say definitely as nothing is definite but you can at least try for friendship again."

I stared at Thor for a moment and then nodded in agreement, smiling gratefully at him.

"For an apparent 'big oaf' you don't half spill some words of wisdom."

Thor chuckled again and shrugged, downing the rest of his drink.

"Don't tell Loki that this big oaf managed to get this resolved faster than he could alone."

"Alright, I promise," I laughed.

Later that night I found myself as I had the night of my own birthday.

Sat at a desk with a blank sheet of paper, a candle and a million thoughts running through my mind.

Plucking the quill from its perch, I dipped it into the ink and let out a long steadying breath before setting the quill to paper, my hand lingering until finally the ink began to flow so that I couldn't change my mind at the last minute.

'Loki,

Over these last few months, I have enjoyed our interactions by letter and find myself eagerly awaiting the next reply.

I do believe that we could grow a friendship again, given time, but I cannot say for certain if we shall ever be close as we once were.

I appreciate your efforts and they are not without result, but my mind is set on my decisions and I do not take back how I acted over what you did.

You hurt me deeply and for that I don't know if I will ever truly forgive you, but perhaps in time we can move past this obstacle and at least be better cordial with one another.

I shall take you up on the offer of attending the party being held for your birthday, but merely as a short staying guest.

I look forward to seeing you and returning the gesture of your gift to me.

All the best.'

I sat up straight and set my quill back down.

Staring at the paper before me, I couldn't help but to read over the words I'd written over and over, tweaking the sentences to sound softer and more welcoming in my head.

Shaking my head, I folded up the paper and reached across the table to hold the stick of sealing wax over the lit candlewick I had burning on my desk and to snatch up the emblem stamp of my family crest.

There was a sense of finality as I dripped the wax over the closing folds and imprinted the emblem within it, ready to send off the next day.