A Whole Bunch of Loki's

If Life Were a Cliché - Part Four

"You said you hadn't been sleeping with her!"

You had no right to be angry, you knew that, but your blood was boiling and you wanted to do nothing more than throw your filled cup at him.

His revelation had stopped you from sleeping altogether, in fact, you had shoved his hand away and threw the covers off of your body so that you could jump out of the bed and storm out of the room.

Loki had followed after you and attempted to talk you down but you were crying too much, more tears of anger than sadness and in a desperate act to get you to calm down he had somehow urged you onto your worn couch and made you a cup of tea.

Once you were calm enough, your hands held tightly around the too hot ceramic, he wisely stood on the other side of the coffee table so that you could talk.

"I haven't been," he answered calmly, frustratingly calm in fact.

"Oh, so she got herself pregnant?"

"Are we really going to go there? I don't know, but I know that child can't possibly be mine, though even if it was you have no right to decide if I sleep with and start a family with my own fiancée."

"A fiancée you've been using me to cheat on!"

You stared at him as tears ran down your cheeks, your chest hurting as your blood ran cold and all adrenaline suddenly dropped when a terrible thought sprang to mind.

"This doesn't mean anything to you, does it?"

"Excuse me?"

"Am I just some kind of cheap thrill? An easy lay? Oh, let's just hook up with my ex-girlfriend that never got over me because she's emotionally available and probably wouldn't say no."

"Don't put words in my mouth," he said slowly, his tone growing cold as his face finally started to convey some emotion.

"Then what is it? What am I to you, Loki?"

"You are the one I lost and found again when it was too late."

"But it wasn't too late! It's not like you're already married, you can still call off the engagement!"

The two of you stare at one another, the fact of the matter sinking in and the worst of your thoughts being too loud for you to drown out.

"Why didn't you ever call it off?" You asked quietly, staring at the table between you.

"I don't know," he replied quietly, "I really have no justification for anything I've done."

"I can't believe I've been a willing accomplice."

The regret and guilt you had managed to forget came back tenfold and made you feel sick to your stomach.

You loved Loki, undeniably so and Loki loved you but how could you do this to someone you had considered a friend?

Your moral compass had come around too little, too late and now here you were, crying in your living room with the man whose child you were potentially carrying after almost two years of an affair.

"Where do we go from here?"

You looked up at Loki, your heart breaking at the truth.

"We should probably call this off."

"Are you being serious?"

Hesitantly you nodded, squeezing the cup harder.

"I am, your situation with her is more serious and I can deal with this alone."

"No, you can't," he sighed.

"No, I can't, but I have to try to be."

"If you are, I can't let you do this alone."