Namjoon: Guys, I was just informed by our manager that we can't do anything too sexy during the performance today.
Jungkook: WHAT? But I curled my hair todayyy-
Jin: yeah, and I've been eating nothing but vegetables all week so I could fit into these pants. VEGETABLES, Namjoon!
Namjoon: look, I know it sucks, but one of the fans who came to our show today is an old politician from Turkey who has an illness that causes him to get seizures if he gets too hot or sweaty, so we need to do anything we can to make sure he'll be alright. Okay?
Jungkook: Ugh, fine....
Jimin: I'll try my best.
Tae: I don't know if I'll be able to go through with it...
Namjoon: you'll be great, I believe in you!
....
Namjoon (to Hobi): make sure they're not doing anything too sexy.
Hobi: yup.
*Thirty minutes later*
Namjoon: One thing! I asked for ONE THING! Now, who was it? Who was responsible for the politician's seizure?
Tae: Wasn't me. I was thinking about my forehead. It always makes me feel less sexy.
Jin: girl, your forehead is great, shut up-
Tae: Ohhhhh, thanks!-
Jin: of course! Anyways, it wasn't me. I'm proud to say I didn't send a kiss to the audience even once. I was being very mature and collected-
Hobi: -good job!-
Jin: I hated it. It was killing me inside. So yeah, you're welcome.
Hobi: never mind then.
Namjoon: Okay, so it wasn't you, and it wasn't Tae. Who was it then? Jimin? Jungkook? Hobi... Did you betray us?
Hobi: not me
Jimin: I was really careful!
Jungkook: I still can't believe I curled my hair for nothing-
Jimin: babe, you HAVE to let it go-
Jungkook: Do you have any idea how LONG it took me to do it?! Ugh, whatever. it wasn't me.
Namjoon: so... It only leaves one suspect. Yoongi!
Yoongi: Wha.
Namjoon: How could you?! You know you have the charms and beauty that can cause a seizure to any normal person. How could you do this?
Yoongi: Um, thanks, it's very fluttering (and kind of weird), but I'm self aware enough. I can turn off my sexy charms as quickly as I turn them on. The person who isn't aware of his sexiness at all, is you.
Namjoon: me?? Don't be ridiculous.
Jin: honey, seriously. You have an IQ of 148, and you're super smart, but you never notice it when you do sexy things.
Namjoon: yeah I do! I was really careful during the show.
Hobi: yeah, but you kept staring into the distance with this serious, chill and focused look on your face-
Namjoon: that's not sexy, that's just my resting philosophical face!-
Jimin: -and you did this thing where you act cute and then get shy and laugh and cover your face-
Namjoon: That's not sexy, that's nerdy!-
Jin: -or when you were walking and doing all of your hand gestures, and you looked so confident-
Namjoon: But that's just normal rapper stuff! I really don't understand what you're talking about. I'm not sexy, especially not around you guys.
Tae: BITCH-
Jungkook: Namjoon hyung, that's not true, you're so handsome-!
Yoongi: everyone shut up! Namjoon, look, I get why you don't think that you're sexy. People had been criticizing your looks and saying hurtful things about you from the moment we debuted. But you know what? Fuck 'em. They're dumb, and they're wrong. You need to start appreciating yourself more.
Namjoon: wow, thank you, Yoongi. Thank you all. That's really nice. I still don't know whether or not to believe it though.
Jimin: hey, look, people go nuts around you!
Jin: yeah, including us!
Namjoon: yeah...
Hobi:- So love yourself! You deserve it!
Namjoon: yes... You're right!
Tae: Yeah, and look- you're so sexy that you made an old politician go through a seizure!
Namjoon: YEAH!- oh, shit, I forgot about that.
........
Jungkook:....... I still can't believe I curled my hair for nothing.
Everyone: let it GO, JK!
Jungkook: NEVER!!
