Me: Okay!! It's been a day, and some of my readers sent me questions. Are you guys ready to answer the fans' burning questions?
Namjoon: Not at all
Jin: Yeah, I'm pretty scared-
Yoongi: - Help, she's keeping us hostage-
Me:-ALRIGHTY THEN! Let's begin. Question number 1 - where did Tae come from?
Tae: I came from a planet far far away called - UM what? No! What? Did I say planet? I meant to say Earth. I came from Earth. No! I was BORN on Earth. I am a human person. Look, I even have fingers! TEN of them!
......
Hobi: Yep, definitely not an alien
Me: Moving on! Yoongi, the next question is for you-
Yoongi: -is it-"do you need police assistance?", because if so, the answer is yes-
Me: -The question is - do you play any other games besides the carpet game (in which you lay on the floor and pretend to be a carpet)?
Yoongi: Yes, it's called "looks like it's time to stab a bitch"-
Me: -okay, no need to be mean
Yoongi: I'm not, it's an actual game I used to play with my older brother.
Jungkook: Did you really call it that?
Yoongi: Well, no, but essentially, that's what it was - just two little psychos trying to murder each other with disposable chopsticks.
Me: ........Okay! As concerning as that is, we need to continue with our interview. The next question is for Hobi. Hobi, an army asked if they could be a part of your sprite religion
Hobi: Pfft, it's not a RELIGION, it's just the thing that gives me strength and keeps me from losing my marbles
Jimin: Ooh, sounds amazing, may I join?
Hobi: Depends- how many sprite cans do you drink a day?
Jimin: Ummmm.... Two?
Hobi: Wrong answer! If you can still count the number of cans you're drinking, then you're not drinking enough
Namjoon: Hobi, stop teaching the children horrible life lessons-
Hobi: -Hey, he's the one who asked to be a part of MY religion!-
Me: NEXT QUESTION! It's another question for Taehyung-
Tae: Ooh, yey, I'm popular-
Me: -the question is - what is your relationship with panda express and Gucci? Are you in trouble?
Tae: What? What do you mean? I just love panda express because their food is yummy and pandas are cute. Gucci is MY religion, and no, I'm not in trouble. I think. I don't know. am I? Am I not? Who AM I, really?-
Me: -Okay, Tae has entered the existential crisis zone, so it'll probably take him a few hours before he comes back to normal. In the meantime, we have one more question, for Jin.
Jim: Oh, god-
Me: Relax, I haven't even asked it yet. Okay- what's with your laugh? Has it always been like this, or....?
Jin (inhales): You know what?! My laugh may be silly, but at least I don't worship sprite or think I'm from a different planet! I'm the most normal and sensible member in our group, and our fans need to start treating me as one!
*Jin leaves*
Me: ..... Did he just throw a bunch of glitter in the air?
Jimin: Yeah, he uses it for dramatic exits
Me: Oh! Well, I think we finished answering all of the questions. I hope that it gave you, the readers, some answers. Goodbye!
Tae: WAIT!!
Me: What it is, Tae?
Tae: We can't finish the chapter, we haven't answered the most important question of all!!!
Me: You're not still talking about the what's tasty in Busan thing, aren't yo-
Tae: OF COURSE I'M TALKING ABOUT THE WHAT'S TASTY IN BUSAN THING!!
Me: I'm sorry, but I don't have the answer for that. JK?
Jungkook: ..........Yeah, I'm not saying it, there are children present
Hobi: Said the child
Jungkook: I was talking about TXT
Hobi: They're not even here-
Jungkook: -SO? I was trying to be mature, don't ruin my moment-
Me: ANYWAY, it looks like JK doesn't want to expose this secret, so I guess it will remain a mystery
Tae (kneels down): NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-
.......................................................................
Thank you, guys. Really💜
