Ghost of You - Anakin Skywalker x Reader (BOOK 1)

Chapter 22

My mind is overwhelmed by different thought patterns. There's so much to consider before I can possibly give him an answer. If I say yes, my life will be forever changed. 

I attempt to control my thoughts surrounding the situation knowing that Anakin is probably looking into my mind. The last thing I want is for him to think that I want to say no. 

"Anakin..." I trail off.

Of course I wanted to say yes to him. I love him. But this...us... it goes against everything we have been taught. If we were to marry, our attachment to one another would grow into something stronger than the force itself. I don't know if I could live with myself knowing that we were lying to everyone around us.

"I know. It goes against everything we stand for as Jedi. But I don't care. (Y/N), all I want in my life is to be with you." He says with so much hope and desperation in his voice.

"I love you, Anakin, and I want nothing more than to be with you for the rest of my life but this is wrong. We can't do that. What if the council found out?" I ask. I needed for us to go through everything before I willingly agreed to the marriage. There were so many risks that we both needed to be aware of.

"There are worse things we could do. Think about it. Compassion lies at the heart of the Jedi. I would describe that as unconditional love. So if you think about it, we're encouraged to love." He replies, twisting the words spoken to us by the Jedi Masters.

I don't say anything. I am completely overwhelmed by all of it. My heart begs for me to say yes to his proposal while my head warns me to say no. It is too much for me to handle.

"If we weren't Jedi, would you say yes?" Anakin asks, trying to gauge the situation at hand.

"Of course I would. Anakin, I want nothing more than to marry you. But it would be wrong."

"Then let's leave the Order."

I feel guilty for admitting it, but the idea makes my heart fill with hope. If we did leave the Order, we could do whatever we wanted to. The problem is, that is far too much of a risk to us both. He can't be serious.

"I'm serious." He states.

"Get out of my head!" I whine telepathically.

He raises his hands quickly as if to say he is innocent. Even in moments like this, he is cute beyond belief. 

I place a hand on his.

"We can't leave the order, Anakin. That would be selfish. You're the Chosen One, the galaxy needs you." I try to reason with him.

"What if Qui Gon was wrong? What if I'm not the Chosen One? I don't want to die knowing I wasted my life on a fake prophecy when I could have spent it with the woman I love." He raises his voice slightly but quickly recovers from the pain he was feeling "I'm sorry for snapping at you. It's just...If we love each other, we should be allowed to marry."

He's desperate to convince me and I am desperate to say yes but it just feels wrong. I love Anakin Skywalker with every fibre of my being but regardless I am still a Jedi. I have a choice to make here. I can be responsible and break off our relationship completely before somebody gets hurt, or I can say yes and allow us to be happy.

"You're right." I whisper.

"I'm right? Does that mean yes?" A cautious level of excitement fills him.

"Yes, Anakin." I giggle "I will marry you"

He kisses me deeply before pulling me into a tight hug. This felt so right. We felt so right.