A Ruby's Shine (Thorin Oakenshield X OC)

127. Destroyed Inside

Okay, seriously, huge WARNING here, I made this a lot more... gory than I originally planned but it really made the idea that Philomena is loosing it go better. If you can't stand reading very, very gory details I suggest you move along to the next chapter. I will post here and in the previous chapter when it is okay to start reading again. 
(______ I have not added those chapters yet so here's the blank space for that.)
And, so it is obvious and everyone knows, I will repeat it again. WARNING VERY GORY CHAPTER AHEAD! Don't say I didn't thoroughly warn you beforehand.

I dropped back down to the ground after.... whatever just happened, curling my body around Fairfin's limp form like I could protect him from the outside world, but I was much too late to save my raven, my best friend, my buddy. Tears continued to race tracks down my dirty cheeks, tears I normally would have never shown at all in public, but I neither cared nor was willing to fight of the grief wracking my soul. I continued to pet Fairfin's head, the beautiful and graceful white raven looked pitiful like this, beautiful white feathers matted with mud and blood, quite a few feathers missing, some of which are still tangled in my hair. His beautiful blue eyes were closed to the world as his beak laid upon the ground near the point of the arrow that pierced him through. I sighed heavily in my pain to fight down the sobs as I gently, oh so gently picked up my raven in my hand's, carefully breaking the arrow without disturbing his broken body before I pulled the rest through gently. I carefully brought his wings in, covering the horrible hole in his body over his heart as I sobbed quietly, sitting back on my knees on the muddy, awful ground, surrounded by many dead orcs and a few dead dwarves, humans, and elves as I petted Fairfin's head all the way down his back, grief wrapping a tight hold around my heart. I could feel the warm blood dripping from the hole in his chest and down onto my hands, but I just couldn't accept that my best friend, my brother, my raven... is gone.

I heard the roar of an orc and looked up dully, pain wrapping tightly around my heart like a vise, unwilling to let go as I simply stared at the approaching orc before closing my eyes in grief, unable to summon the want to fight anymore.

I gasped and opened my eyes quick as I heard the distinct call of a Caribou. I watched as massive hooves just barely stepped around my sitting form before massive antlers lowered to the ground and picked up the orc aiming to kill me, tossing him up into the air as a wolf jumped over my form, covered in a pretty white winter coat, and bit into the neck of the air born orc, dragging him back down to earth with him before dropping the dead orc.

I looked around as several more wolves raced past me, howling for blood as I noticed an Ox run on by, the massive furry creature had it's head lowered, horns pointed outwards as more Oxen followed behind him, their shear weight and sharp horns knocking, killing, or trampling hundreds of orcs. I was even more shocked as the rare wolverine raced on by, it's unique call ringing out as large paws with big claws on such a small body tore and ripped into the legs of orcs, as eagles, ravens, owls, and all manner of birds pelted orcs from the sky and the smaller land bound animals attacked at their feet.

Novu ran up to me from somewhere and lowered her head to the ground, rumbling worriedly at me, her eyes full of an almost motherly worry as she very gently nosed Fairfin's limp head with her massive nose and released a low, mournful sound as she looked up at me. Tears continued to drip down my face. I wanted to hug the cougar, to find comfort in the love and care this cougar has been showing me. But I knew I couldn't, I knew I couldn't break down like that, not yet. I shakily pulled at the knot of cloth around the Arkenstone in my pocket, removing the cloth as I carefully, gently wrapped the cloth around Fairfin's body like a blanket, a few more sobs escaping me.

Fairfin gave his life to save mine, I cannot let him die in vain. For Fairfin, I will end this battle. For Fairfin, I will survive. I cannot guarantee I will be very sane afterwards, I am well on my way to insanity from pure grief alone. I fought it off, realizing I have people who care for my health and I needed to remain strong, remain sane. I carefully, gently tucked Fairfin into my pocket as I gripped some of Novu's fur to stand, taking deep breaths as I pick my sword up out of the mud, looking up at the changing tide of the battle due to the army of animals that is both shocking to me and not.