A Ruby's Shine (Thorin Oakenshield X OC)

35. Giving Away A Large Secret

"Thorin?" I questioned, finally making him react and pull himself from his thoughts as he blinked and looked at me before looking over the cliff. Without letting him notice, I admired and am jealous of his hair. While covered in ash and dirt, his braids were hardly even frayed. The silver clasps in his hair shined brightly in the light in comparison to his dark hair. A few had come loose, leaving his longer than shoulder length hair falling in waves, nearly darker than his clothing with the few touches of grey running through.

Which lead me to wondering how old he is. I have no clue on how long dwarves can live, but I know it is somewhere over 300 years. While his hair holds some grey hairs, his face doesn't look that old. So I am unsure.

Suddenly Thorin spoke while looking out over the low mountains, pulling me from my thoughts, "I wonder when you will trust me enough to let me know your secrets." Thorin said quietly, his gruff, deep voice making the words hard to pick out.

I sighed, crossing my arms across my chest as I hunched over, watching the mountains as well, thinking over everything I am hiding from the dwarves and everything I myself do not know, but search for the answers to. White and red flashed through my mind. While I wished to tell Thorin that it is none of his business... I remembered thinking of all the dwarves had done for me and the many times these past two days that Thorin has saved my life.

He deserves to at least have some questions answered, but I am not ready to expose all my secrets.

I closed my eyes tight, frowning as I spoke in a slow, reluctant voice, "That is the bad thing about my secrets, Thorin. I hide many secrets for good reasons, but... there are even some that I do not know the answers to." I said, my voice dropping low for my moment before I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, looking straight forward, "I have searched for many years, but all I have found is a patchy trail of blood and destruction. I am torn on whether I should follow it, or leave it be. But I still want to know, so I still search." I said, my voice hardly controlled on hiding my emotion.

I turned my head away from Thorin, feeling more emotional than I liked and I wasn't eager to show it. Silence fell for a moment.

Thorin shocked me with his next words.

"All these years, searching every rumor, every sign, anything I could in a hope that my father still lived. But I also dreaded finding the end of the trail, finding the truth about my father. I knew it may not be pretty, as he never came to Ered Luin, but I still searched. While the answer was finally given to me, and it was a painful one to hear, I still see it as better than never knowing what happened to him." Thorin said in a low voice, a touch of pain and regret in his tone, so low I almost wasn't sure I was hearing Thorin correctly.

I looked back at Thorin in shock and awe that this stubborn, guarded dwarf just told me a part of his past, a part of what he feels. Thorin was glaring sadly out over the mountains, not looking at me like he was giving me time to process what he just said.

I dropped my arms, interlocking my fingers as I studied my slender small hands and the dirty wrappings around them before I sighed, shoulders drooping. I looked up at Thorin to find him still staring out.

"Thorin, you have been very kind when I have been nothing but rude and unkind. And I thank you for being kind, even admitting something you did not have to tell me. In return for how kind you have been, I will let you know a part of my past." I said, Thorin looking at me with unreadable eyes, patient and waiting as I thought for a moment, looking back down at my hands.

"I... don't know what I am." I said, looking up at Thorin, who looked at me in confusion, his eyebrows furrowed, before I looked back at my hands. "I know that I am not a human, nor a dwarf, nor an elf, or a hobbit. I don't have the large feet of hobbits or the unnatural beauty of elves or the lifespan of humans." I said, looking out of the edge of my eye to see Thorin's eyes widening, curiosity and shock appearing in his gaze.