A Ruby's Shine (Thorin Oakenshield X OC)

88. Telling Fili and Kili

I sighed as I turned, barely holding it together as I walked back down the large pathway above the treasure hall, glancing back but see no sight of Thorin as I close my eyes sadly. With no one here, I leaned against the wall and sat, leaning my head back against the large pillar as I closed my eyes tight, fighting down the pain. Smaug was right, Lord Elrond was right... a sickness runs deep within the Durin line and, while, for but a moment, I saw the dwarf I love... he was just as quickly lost to me once more.

I laid there for a moment, fighting down my mental and my physical pain. I had to believe Thorin could overcome this, if I do not... well this pain and guilt will likely haunt me for many many years to come. I know that, if I could not save Thorin from the sickness he has fallen under...

Then I cannot stay and watch as he destroys himself. I gritted my teeth at the idea, my hand clenched tightly upon Bilbo's stick... but I knew the truth. Two paths lay before me and they both depend on if Thorin will fight this sickness. Either I will stay here within Erebor, search through wherever it's library may be and find that answers I search for with Thorin at my side, happy and healthy...

Or I will leave this mountain forever and return to my life of wandering the wilds of the world, searching for rumors and answers.

Alone.

I sighed and nodded to myself as I stood, glancing back up the path. I have a Hobbit and two dwarf brothers who deserve answers.

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I approached the staircase, hearing not a sound as I came to a stop on the last step, glancing up blankly to see Fili and Kili sitting there, no Bilbo in sight, both of them leaning against the wall of a house before Fili looked up, elbowing Kili to wake up as well.

"Mena! What of our Uncle?" Kili said, standing quickly as Fili did as well.

"Did you find him? Is it true he is not himself?" Fili added on, both of them watching me worriedly as I sighed, glancing to the house nearby, the door open and a few chairs visible before I glanced at Fili and Kili once more.

"There is much I need to tell you both, but first I am exhausted you two, I will not lie, I do not think I can stand much longer. This will take a bit to explain so let us barrow these chairs." I said honestly, gesturing to the chairs, wondering where Bilbo ran off to as I stepped into the little house, depressed by the sight of dust and a few cobwebs in the corner, yet I was thankful there were not any charred corpses. I tried not to think more on that as I dust off a green rock chair and sat in it, sighing in relief as I glanced at Fili and Kili who remained standing, staring at me with worry as I sighed sadly.

"I am sorry for delaying you two seeing Thorin, but I need you to know first, and be aware of it." I said, glancing between the two, "I can guess it is likely Thorin has never told you of how exactly his grandfather became so..." I stopped searching for the right words.

"Crazy?" Kili said grimly as I nodded, looking between them both as they watched me.

Fili sighed, "No, Thorin refused to tell us what happened to our great grandfather." Fili said, making me smile sadly as I drew my finger through the dust on the table in random shapes, thinking.

"Well, I don't know every detail, but I know enough to at least explain to you both what is happening." I said, looking back at them, determined to be completely honest with them. Honesty might save them from the same fate, "Thror did not just become crazy. According to Thorin, he was actually quite the dwarf king, before the dragon." I said, looking back at my hand drawing through the dust, "But he fell under something called Gold Sickness. I have heard of mental illnesses before, but nothing like this. Something about this illness isn't natural, especially to affect not just Thror but now..." I stopped glancing at the two as their eyes widened in horror, "Now affecting Thorin as well." I said sadly.