Merthur/Merlin one shot

Crossdressing and bad situation 2

A|N Here you go imwithtonyandnatasha and  Mclamlpjec because you two wished for this. Took me a long time to get on it. Had well a few fanfics that I wrote and forgot actually about this one XD

The way back was quick and nothing was said. What could be said after what he went through? There was nothing that could make this undone and nothing to make him feel really better. It was also the fact that he could not feel much. 

Merlin felt numb to his core and he still struggle to realize that he was safety now. Even with Arthur being with him it made him still fear that he would escape and  come back for more. His body shuddered at this.

There was this oddly calm that was over him and he yet hadn't managed to get out of whatever  he was in. Arthur obviously was still looking like a kicked puppy with how guilty he looked. There was as well the emotion concern shown.

The next time he really came back when he heard someone call his name. It made  him know that he had zoned out. The concerned look of his father figure made him shrink down. The questions where nothing new about how he was, did he have any pain etc. It was the normal thing.

With each question answered the two other in the room where more concerned and he knew that there was no way that they would leave him alone. It was sweet but he wasn't sure how to act now. It was too much and he was really not wanting to be left alone.

But also a part of him felt the presence of two people too much.  Lucky for him it was exactly as it was too much that Arthur carried him out of the room. He could just give a slight nod towards his father figure.

As they entered the room of Arthur he was put down on the soft bed. There was a pause and nothing said but soon Arthur opened his mouth and asked him something. But what it was he had missed with him being that absent minded. 

"Hey Merlin I was wondering you want a bath?" The tone was cautious and he could see that Arthur was trying to talk as soothing and soft as possible. Almost as if he was fearing that he would break down.

"Uh mhm..." This was all he could muster as an answer and the other nodded as asking another servant to make the bath. 

Which was not something that he liked but also could not tell the other this. He knew that his king was not capable for making these kinds of things. So he bared the presence of another person. He was grateful that it was Gwen and more grateful when she was not talking at all.

It seemed that she could tell that he was not wanting to talk. Soon she left again but not without making sure to wish him well. His gaze went over to the bath and he was staring at it and wondering how he would get there.

Merlin was pretty sure that he wouldn't be able to move one inch with how his body felt weak and shaky. So that like before Arthur asked him to help Merlin out. It was nice and he was suddenly feeling drained.

Which was why he accepted the help. At some point he was half asleep and he was pretty much out of it. As the next time he woke up was in the middle of the night because of a nightmare.

He could hear his heartbeat thundering in his chest, his body sweating, cold and warmth spreading through him. Merlin's breath was speedy and tears rolling down. Wheezes escaping out of him as trying to escape whoever was holding him right now.

That was until he realized that it was Arthur. Then he sacked down, exhausted. He wanted it forget. He wanted this to end. It was too much to handle. Maybe this was why after he calmed more down softly said...

"Please...make me forget it. Please just anything Arthur." 

The male looked at him with these heartbroken eyes and he swallowed not liking the look but he needed to forget this. 

"Merlin what exactly do you want me to do?"

"Just make love to me. Make me forgot about this disgusting person. Please..." He pleaded as well as distraught tone was in it and his eyes held the same emotion.

There was a pause and he could tell that Arthur was trying to figure out what to say. But he was not wanting to wait. He needed this and he loved the other. It was desperation that made him act and kissing the other.

The male's breath hitched for a moment and pulled him away. Making him whimper in fear that he would reject him. But it seemed that it was not what this was about.

"Look I really love you but now is not the right timing.  Not when you just went through something traumatizing like this. And you are clearly not in the right state of mind. Not when you"

He could hear that the other was genuine but it was not something that he wanted. He wanted to forget this and want to have the bad memory to forget.

"B-But I really want to forget this..." He whimpered and feeling the tears rolling down as sobs wracked through his body.

"I know but this is not the way." The tone was sorrowful yet understanding. Arthur could tell how distraught this made him but he was pretty sure that the other meant well. He was pulled into a hug.

At first he stiffen but soon relaxing as clinging himself onto the other. At some point he fell asleep again.

.

.

.

As the morning came he remembered what he tried to do and shivered. It was still the wish of him but now he felt anxious. There was a shift next to him and he was sure that this will be a lot for him.

"Hey..." The tone was soft and his gaze went over to Arthur. 

The male was looking at him with a soft tone but the same concern. He winced as he knew that he had made the concern probably even more with what happened yesterday.

"How are you right now?" The same tone was used and he shrugged as he wasn't sure how he felt. At least he was feeling a bit more.

"I see. Okay today we can stay here and see how you are tomorrow. Good for you?"

"Mhm." Once again he could just mumbled this out as not wanting to talk. Arthur nodded and he paused. There was hesitation and he could tell that the other was wanting to say or do something.

"You alright with me giving you a hug?" 

He looked at the other and fidget now. It was not that he was not minding hugs but right now he wasn't sure. As he still felt dirty and he wasn't sure that he wanted the other to touch him with how dirty he was.

"Merlin what are you thinking?" The tone was more cautious and he bit his lips as unsure what he should tell the other.

"No-Nothin'."

"Merlin don't lie, can tell something is bothering you." The tone was more stern and making him let out a sigh and mumbling the one word -dirty- that made Arthur let out a sigh.

"I don't see any dirt on you. So why did you say dirty?"

He swallowed and shrugging. This made Arthur giving a look and going through his blond hair.

"Alright, I won't hug you when you don't want to. When you want a hug or any physical contact tell me okay?" The tone was understanding and with this there was not much said.

Until he stared down and realizing that he was wearing the shirt of Arthur. It was way too big for his frame and making him look tiny. He flushed soon and fidget as glancing at Arthur. The male gave him a smile. It led to him to flush more and he could tell that the other was also coo.

The rest of the day was with them staying in bed, him reading a spell book and Arthur asking questions. At some point he was feeling a bit better but he knew that it would be a long time until he would be better.

About the person who had done this...well let's just say Arthur made sure to show everyone what would happen to people who harm others this way.  

A/N hope that you enjoyed this and maybe when you want to have a one shot give me a message as by now I slowly lose ideas XD