Merthur/Merlin one shot

Love me even when you have to lie

Imagine person A tells person B they love them, for a long time. Person B is silent and then person A says: "Tell me you love me. If you don't then lie."

Merlin was waiting for Arthur to tell him something. The male had been oddly avoiding him and he just was confused at this. It was not the same thing working as a manservant for his master or by now best friend. There was as well the fact that he slowly was falling for him. And by now he was pretty sure that he loved him more. Each day he falls deeper and by now he was kind of having a massive crush on the said male.

That was why he was now slightly nervous. Arthur wasn't someone who would stay quiet or avoid you. This was way too odd and even the knights got confused at this. It looked for them like the two had a big fight. Which he got asked way too many times. And each time he denied it and telling them that he had no idea why the male had been like this.

"I have to tell you something. I just...don't know how to tell you this."

His brows furrowed, and concern bloomed in him. Whatever this was, must be major. Or why else would Arthur be like this?

"You can tell me everything and you know this by now you cabbage head."

He joked and trying to ease the tensions. Arthur opened his mouth but closed it again. Odd. Really odd. Like usually he would talk back but this time he wasn't.

"It could change your opinion on me, and I am not sure that I should tell you. Father will kill you when he would know what I am going to tell you."

Alright, now he got the attention of Arthur. Could it be that he has magic? Was that why he had avoided him?

"I love you, have since the first day I met you."

His brain came to a screeching halt and he stared with wide eyes now at the male in front of him. Not even in his wildest dreams had he imagined that Arthur was loving him back. Their feelings were mutual and now it made sense why he said the last part.

"Tell me you love me even when you don't just lie and tell me."

Voice desperate and he chuckled at the forcefulness of Arthur. There was the male he loved. A soft smile soon appeared.

"Don't need to lie when the feelings are mutual you royal prat. I have hidden something, and you need to understand that I have hidden this for a good reason. When you really love me then you will accept me for who I am."

Arthur was silent but nodded as having a patient look. This could either go right or south and he was feeling really anxious about this. All he hoped that Arthur would still accept him. Because when he wouldn't, then the dragon had been wrong.

"I was born with a gift. A gift that I was shunned out. Kids always were scared of me and I can't do anything about this. It is a part of me, and I am different. Even Gaius didn't know what I am. I have magic. I hid this because I didn't want you to choose between me or your father. I know you will hate me now and won't accept me. But you have the right to know. You said you loved me and that is the reason why I had to tell you."

Arthur was silent and looked at him with something akin of interest yet pain as well. This was what he feared. That his prince would feel betrayed by him and he could see it in his eyes.

"I will go now. You probably don't want to have me near you anymore. Thank you for everything you have done."

With this, he pushed the chair aside and turning around as walking outside. But he came not too far as a hand was holding his wrist softly.

"I- okay so I am hurt that you hid this, but I understand. Just give me a few hours. I just need to get my thoughts sorted. Just don't think that I don't want your presence anymore."

He nodded, and the hand left. Merlin walked out and feeling his heart heavy. Now he will think of him as a monster and he probably messed up. He shouldn't have told him. Merlin should just have shut this in himself and not telling him. Maybe he was just overthinking this, but he couldn't help it. As this was his insecurities speaking.

Merlin wasn't even reacting to Gaius calling out for him. He walked up to his room and closing the door. Then he wants to his bed and rolling him together. A sob soon wracked through his body and felt the tears roll down. At some point, the tears stopped and he fell asleep...

---

A knock was heard on his door and he opened his eyes slowly. The door opened and he buried his face into his legs. There was just no way he wanted to deal with anyone. Right now, he just wanted to stay in bed and not deal with the outside world or people. A sigh was heard and footsteps approaching. The person sat now next to him and he pouted now.

"So what is your moronic brain thinking now?"

Oh no. This was Arthur and now he felt anxiousness bubble up. What would he now say? Was he mad for him not doing his work?

"Alright stop thinking about whatever rubbishness your thoughts are right now."

His brows furrowed now as he peaked up a bit and seeing Arthur raise an unimpressed eyebrow at him.

"I know you by now and because I know you, I know that you think of something unpleasant. So, talk to me about it."

He shook his head and buried his face back into his legs. There was just no way that he could tell him. Merlin was fearing that he would just be made fun of. Another sigh was heard, and he felt suddenly picked up by the male on his shoulder. He pouted now and trying to wiggle out, but he gave up. Arthur was still stronger and, in the end, Arthur walked out with a sigh.

"I will take my moronic manservant to my room and have a talk with him.'

Gaius blinked and raised an eyebrow at the two. He could see him both amused, yet a concern was as well seen.

"Go ahead. And fix this because I know you are the cause of this, sire."

Arthur nodded and walked outside. On his face was a constant pout and people ignored this. It was usual and he couldn't help but feel moody now.

"So, what did he do this time Arthur?"

Oh no. Not Gwaine. His cheeks felt like burning by now and Arthur let out a sigh.

"I made him upset and he ignored me and now I will have a talk with my stupid manservant."

The male wasn't even waiting for Gwaine to continue and walking away. This sucks so much, and he held his head this time as low as possible. When they were in the chambers of the prince, the door was closed, and he was soon thrown at the bed. A yelp escaped and he pouted even more now.

"Now talk. I know something is clearly bothering you."

He shook his head and rolling himself together again. He just felt not in the mood to talk and because he wasn't feeling in the mood, he stayed silent.

"Oh come on. You're being childish right now."

An exasperating tone was heard, and he knew Arthur was right but right now he couldn't care less. Right now, he really wanted not to talk about this. Another sigh was heard and now he felt himself this time in a hug.

"Fine. But at some point, you will need to tell me."

He shook his head and enrolled himself and burying his face into the chest of the other. And arms now hugging the other male back. No way could he tell him this.

"Okay, fine stay silent. I don't care anymore but please stop sulking. I don't like this, and it makes me feel like I have done something horribly wrong."

Now he felt like he had done something bad. Guilt started to gnaw on him. So that he felt like crying again.

"M'sorry."

Voice soft and muffled as he said this and he knew that it wasn't fair to the other male, but he just couldn't talk about this.

"Don't apologize but seriously what is going on in your funny head of yours."

A sigh went out and he felt the hug tighten slightly and he sniffed now and feeling like crying.

"Am I a monster?"

His voice held a vulnerable and anxious tone and it was muffled. Arthur was silent for a moment until he was pulled away and weary eyes stared at the male. The male held a blank expression, and this made him feel like he had messed up again.

"No. Why in Camelot's name would you think something rubbish like this?"

Voice in a deadpan now and expression still as blank as ever. This made him flinch and he knew why he thought like this.

"Because people don't see me as human. Like you saw what your father does to my kind and I just felt like..."

Arthur let out another sigh and expression soften. Once again he was pulled into a hug and he felt tears roll down his cheeks.

"You bloody moron. I would -no- could never think of you as a monster. You are the most selfless, sacrificing, kindest, and loyalist person I have ever met. Screw these people. You didn't have any chance and you got born with this. It's not your fault and don't let tell anyone tell you anything different. At least now I know why you were like this."

His heart fluttered at this and he felt relieved. Arthur accepted him and he felt moronic now that he would think like this. Now more tears rolled down, and he felt the hug tighten.

They talked it over and as well what they were and the two decided to hide their relationship. When Arthur would be king, the legalization of both magic and as well that someone could love whoever they want. Marriage would be something that could never be legalized as in the religion this was a sin. But at least so he could protect these people with a law that everyone can love whoever they want. 

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