Merthur/Merlin one shot

cross dressing

Merlin had a secret. A secret that wasn't his magic. It was one which he could never tell anyone. Not even his mother nor Gaius knew about this. First, it was way too embarrassing. The second one would be because people wouldn't accept this and first but not least was that he was scared that Arthur would just reject him and he probably will have to leave Camelot or being banned. 

Well, his secret is that he likes to wear dresses. They make him feel less insecure and as well as beautiful. It was weird and he knows this, but he just couldn't help but wear dresses. But he stopped or almost stopped.  He dressed alone in his room and locking usually the door. And with usually is when he doesn't forget it.

Merlin was insecure enough and feared that when someone would know that he would wear dresses people would not accept him. The worst would be for him that Arthur would find out and making fun of him and then banning him from Camelot. Lucky Uther was not alive anymore or he would for sure been either end up getting executed, which was more likely, or he would get banned from Camelot.

The same would have happened when he would have found out his crush of Arthur. That was as well something that he couldn't tell anyone. It was not alright and people would not be as accepting. And that was as well something that he hid. It was hurting him whenever he saw him with Gwen. He could see how he looked at her with love. And every time he almost felt his heart-shattering. Every time his heart just felt more in pain. 

She would be Queen and there was nothing he could do. They would marry and he would have to watch on the sideline and trying to move on. Which wouldn't be easy, and he wasn't sure that he could ever move on at all. Maybe that was why he was trying to avoid Arthur nowadays.

He avoided him constantly, but still making his job. And not even fighting back anymore and just doing his job. He was just a servant and he shouldn't nag at all. That was something that Gaius realized and he tried to make him feel better, but nothing helped. His heart was just breaking more and more. His smile got more forced and the glimmer in his eyes stopped by now entirely. 

And the only thing that helped was wearing dresses, but right now he couldn't. After all, he still had some work left and god was he feeling depressed right now. A sigh escaped as he continued working. But soon he couldn't handle the pain in his heart anymore. So that he started to head to his room. Merlin needed a break and right now Arthur was on a meeting and Gauis wasn't there either. So he headed to his room, walking inside and closing the door softly behind him. He went to his wooden chest and opening it. 

In there were some of his dresses with his normal clothes. He picked a light violet dress and a smile was soon on his face. He changed into it as fast as possible and looked at the mirror and he started to beam more. God, he loved wearing dresses so much, and with his petite looking body he could pull it off. All he would need would be a wig and some makeup and he would probably look like a female. 

He twirled around and dancing around. Merlin was relatively good at dancing and he loved it. Even as a kid he always loved to be more girly. He started as well to hum a tune. It was a tune which was had wistfulness and longing in it. Merlin was that occupied that he hadn't realized the door opening nor had he realized that someone was watching.

After a few minutes later he realized that eyes were on him. When he looked at the direction, his face fell and he was feeling horrified that Arthur was the one who found out. The color drained entirely of his face. What will he do now? Will he tease him? Will he end up getting kicked out as his servant? Or will he be banned out of Camelot?

"So what is this?"

His gut felt queasy and he felt getting more nervous by now. Arthur wouldn't accept this and he felt like he would banish him now.

"I always felt comfortable with wearing dresses. They -um- make me feel more secure..."

He replied softly and not even daring to lie to Arthur. He couldn't after the latter male walked upon him when he was wearing a dress.

"I see. You look good in it. So why didn't you tell me?"

Ah, that question. Merlin was sure that this would have come to this when Arthur would have walked upon him and so he let out a sigh and twiddling with his thumbs.

"Because I thought you would tease me, make have to quit, or ending up getting banished out of Camelot."

Footsteps approached him and he was still looking down. There was no way that he could look up after he said all this.

"You are an idiot. I would never and could never do that. You are my friend. Anything else I should know? Because now is the right timing for you to tell me."

Merlin's head snapped up to see Arthur in front of him with folded arms, but his expression was soft.

"I..."

Arthur was silent and waiting patiently for his answer, which was really strange. The male wasn't known for being patient.

"What do you think of magic? And about love from the same gender?"

He decided to ask first this and then decided to tell him or not to tell him. Arthur blinked and hummed soon as a thoughtful expression was seen on his face.

"About magic, I think that not all people who have magic are evil. I have met a particular someone who isn't. And about love from the same gender, I don't care. Love is love and I find it dumb how people think of it as a sin. So does that answer your questions?"

His expression was blank for a moment as he heard Arthur say this. It was too much of surprise for him that Arthur was thinking like this. And it made him easier now to tell the latter male, or as easy it was with him saying that he fell in love and having magic.

"You h-have to promise me that you won't be angry."

Arthur groaned at this and but he promised him right afterward. 

"I have magic. I was born with it. People who are born are called Warlock and it's like breathing for me. I hate that I have to hide my magic. And to the second secret..."

He breathed out as he tried to calm his thundering heartbeat a bit, as a blush slowly crept upon his cheeks, before talking.

"I -um- am in l-love with you..."

His voice was soft and he fidgeting. The entire time he looked down and not at Arthur. He just couldn't look up and he feared that Arthur would be mad, even when he promised him that he wouldn't.

"Merlin look up."

He shook his head, as he felt ashamed that he had hidden both things. There was a sigh heard and soon a hand was on his chin. Arthur made him lift up his head, as he leaned into him. Before he really could register what happened was, that some lips were on his. His eyes closed as he kissed back. Sadly it left as soon as it came and as he opened his eyes, his cheeks were a flustered mess.

"There now you know that I love you back and I had the feeling that you were hiding something. But I didn't expect this. And wait so you aren't a sorcerer? I thought people just always were practicing. So my father lied about this?"

A sigh escaped as he felt like a weight lifted off his shoulders, but now he had to know something. As this was bugging him a lot.

"When you really loved me, then why do you look at Gwen like this? And why going on dates with her?"

This time Merlin showed his hurt by what he saw. Showed how jealous he had been of Gwen. Arthur blink and soon there was a snort, then a chuckle and soon a full-blown laugh. Merlin gaped now and feeling confused at him laughing. He looked good and he never saw him laugh genuine or at least like a full-blown laugh.

"That was to get my father off my shoulder. We both decided to fake our relationship. And now that my father is gone, I can finally love whoever I want."

His eyes widen now and he felt the relief hit him. 

"So, you aren't mad?"

His voice was soft and he was fidgeting now. Arthur was really scary when he was mad and he wasn't wanting to anger Arthur. Oh god, he really sounded like a girl right now.

"No, of course not."

He let out a sigh and grinning now happily. This was the first time that he smiled a true smile.

"Oh, and your father had no idea. He was not even trying to understand magic. He punished everyone for one sorcerer, and she warned him. You can't just give life without a price. There rules and he knew this."

He huffed out as he felt the anger bubble in him up for what Uther had done. This ended up with a heated discussion about magic, the difference between a Warlock and a sorcerer. Afterward's they talked about him and wearing dresses. In the evening the two got more closer. They ended up cuddling on the bed. Even with him still wearing the dress. Arthur accepted him and even when other's would not accept their relationship, they would always have each other.

Fun fact the knights all congratulated them and one of them said finally.

A/N hehe had fun at writing this and hope you enjoyed reading this as well. Got the idea from -Line-28-. Thanks again for the ideas you gave me.  ^~^