Merthur/Merlin one shot

Another m-preg part 1

A/N trigger warning mentioning of depression and with everything that comes with, second part as well. With this hope you like this one shot.
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The death of Arthur broke something in him. What it was had been clear to him, after all he had loved the other. It was the death of Arthur that made him realize how deeply he fell for the other. 

Merlin might not exactly had wanted what had happened but he wasn't regretting it fully. It was not intentional what they done. 

Merlin ended up somehow in bed with Arthur and had a one nightstand. The two were drunk and one thing led to another. They had ignored what had happened. When someone would find out, well it would look bad for both of them.

Even though he loved the other. He had told him this and Arthur had explained that he felt the same way but telling him that this would never work. People would kill him and Arthur was not wanting him to get harmed because of this. It pained him but he smiled softly in understanding.

Not to mention that Gwen would be hurt by what they done. But he also knew that the female might know that the two are in love with each other. She was someone that was sharp and observative. It was the look that she gave him whenever his gaze went longingly over to them, wanting to have the relationship between Arthur and him, yet instantly pushed this aside.

The people would never accept this and that was it. They had never talked about what had happened. As the other was laying close to death in his arms, he regretted hiding his magic. Arthur had been pissed at him and for a good reason. Yet the male changed his output after seeing him protect the other with his magic.


There had been the understand and he hated that the other would die. Hated that they couldn't have been happy. Hated that people were prejudice against people that liked the same gender. Hated that there was no way that magic would ever be accepted and that people feared it because of others that had done this.

The last words of Arthur struck him the hardest....

'I...apologize...you were the...best person that...I could have met...so thank...u...for being there for me...and love you...' The worse was that the other had kissed him softly before taking his last breath.

But more then he regretted was not being truthful and telling Arthur that he had a crush. It was now that Arthur had died that he regretting never telling the other his feelings. It was too late and that regret would be something that he would forever have, until his dying breath.

It had been three weeks since then and he had been holed in his room. There was no way that he could move one inch. Not after he had lost as well Gwaine. It was too much, at least one positive things came out of this.

Morgana and Mordred died and magic got permitted back. It was Gwen that made this possible and he had nonchalant mentioned that he had magic and then ditching the room as not wanting to deal with the questions that would for sure come. Now it was any longer outlawed he didn't need to be worried to be killed. Not to mentioned Gwen was the most accepting person that he had ever meet, other then Lancelot and Gwaine.

Gwen had been accepting this and she was concerned about his health with him staying holed up in his room. It ended up with her dragging him to a room and telling him that this was now his own room and that it was as a thanks for his help in Camelot and that he had always been there for Arthur.

That was how he ended up with a new room, even as he wanted to reject the offer, the expression Gwen made, had him accept this. The bed was way more comfortable. His body started to gain suddenly weight. Not a lot that it was noticeable, but still noticeable by him.

Merlin had no idea why: after all, he ate almost the same amount. Yes a bit more, but that much that he would gain noticeable weight? What had also be changed was that he was a bit more absent minded and it ended up with him staring into blank state until he would hear a sudden noise outside that would startle him out of his dazed state.