Merthur/Merlin one shot

Found family

The first time he saw his mother breaking down was at the tender age of 3. It was his first memory that had an impact on him. This was because their village got attacked by a group and his twin was ripped away from him. It was how he felt something missing. It was as if a part of him had a massive hole in him. 

He cried and cried for his twin Mattie, but he never was there. Whimpering asked for Mattie to come back, and always his mother looked at him with sad eyes. It made this not better. Slowly as the weeks and months went by, these memories of his twins started to grow less clear. Until there were just feelings of something missing. One that caused him a lot of times heartache, and he could not even explain what he was missing, and why he felt that way.

It was that part that made him feel pain and worse was seeing his mother at times breaking down. At that time he did not know why and when asked, she never answered, avoiding the questions. Making it clear to him that he was not going to get answers any time soon, and he wondered many times what made his mum sad. 

At that time his father had gone to visit a friend of his, and when his father came back, there was instantly something sorrowful in the gaze of his kind Dad. The male stayed with them yet always went away and he missed him dearly. Then his mother got a sibling growing in her belly and he was excited. Merlin was five years old when he got told that he would get a younger sibling and would be the bestest brother that existed. He will protect him from any bullies.

Yes, his mother at times teared up, and Merlin did not understand why his mother seemed so sad. When asked she told him that when he was older, Merlin would understand and he could just pout and stop asking. Knowing that this would just cause more sorrow to her.

Then his baby brother came and he thought everything would stay happy, even with him being able to do weird things when being angered or upset like things floated or exploded without reason. A reason why his mum was rather worried for him, was not that Merlin understood why. 

Yet his father had to leave after a year, as there was something bad going on and so his mother, him, and his younger brother was once more alone again. The people in the village talked about how their family was a disgrace -which at that time he could not understand- and his mother explained that they were pitying them, for whatever reason.

It was a harsh time after his father left and was angered that his father left their family. It was not fair at all. His baby brother looked almost similar to him, yet the blue eyes were a bit lighter, and could also do things that he was able to do, which was pretty cool.

The time flew and four years later closely to his tenth birthday, another bandit attack happened and caused him to feel an odd sense of deja vu as he watched with terror, his baby brother being taken by them, and worse was that his mother had been beaten badly.

It was since then that he tried to find him, and the image of his baby brother's blue terror-filled eyes and expression, was even now many years later giving him nightmares that made him cry. Worse was that his mother was depressed for sure and how many times having her muffled sobs behind closed doors was heard, was something that he lost count of.

Even now being in Camelot, at the age of 19 he felt almost as if something was missing and he was not thinking about his baby brother but something else. That hole was still there and made him at times start breaking down.

It was never something that he had told anyone, not even Arthur or Lancelot. The male knew of his magic but he could not bring it out. The reason for him feeling this way had been told just recently by his mother as he visited her, him losing his younger twin. This made him have a mental breakdown. It was not fair that he had lost both of his brothers and he felt his heart break into pieces. It was no wonder that his mother was feeling this way.

She explained that there had been a twin of his called Matthiew and that's for sure the thing that was missing in him. Merlin understood why his mother could not talk about his twin. Which was why he was not mad but sad about losing another brother of his.