Merthur/Merlin one shot

In where Merlin is an FTM

Merlin had some secrets that none knew, other than his mother, Will and Gaius were the last ones that got told this. One was his magic, and the second one was him being born a female, even now he was one, as there was nothing that could change his body to a male.

A wish that might be at some point granted but for now he had to resort to wearing male clothes and hoping no one would figure this out. He even bound his chest as he didn't like how there was a bump.

One other secret that not many knew was that he had a crush, that was until Merlin told Arthur this. It was not just that he had a crush on the other but also his magic. At first, the King was feeling betrayed that he hid this, but he got over it after he explained his reasoning.

It still took the male a while for the other to forgive and it was a long process. A reason why he hid that he was in reality born a female. There was no way that he could yet tell this Arthur. Even now 6 months later he had hidden this. They hadn't gone further and he wasn't sure how that would work with him feeling never a female.

The fear that his boyfriend would not accept this made him hide this. Not to mention that people were not all that accepting that they ended up being a couple. Yet couldn't do much, as Arthur was still their king, and had done a great job, making Camelot bloom in their former glory.

But now they almost had gotten more than once further and he feared what the reaction would be of his beloved. Gaius persuaded him at their conversation after his breakdown, that he should explain this. His father figure was sure that Arthur would understand and this was why he was trying to wait for the right moment.

One that hadn't been yet and even after a week, Arthur was busy. Leading him to get even more anxious and he couldn't hold this in any longer. It would be better than continue hiding something like this.

After all, maybe he would accept him how he was and not make a big issue out of this.

"Um, Arthur..." His voice hesitant cut through the silence as he had paused in on his cleaning.

"Hm?" He could tell that Arthur was concentrating on something but soon turned his attention to him.

"Sorry, what was that Merls?" The tone was endearing and soft. For sure he could tell that he was anxious about what he was going to tell him.

"So uh well before I tell you something, please don't get angry at me for hiding something big like this. I just felt anxious enough and try to wait for the whole story..." He rambled and Arthur blinked before tilting his head, folding his arms together.

"Alright, Merlin I am all ears, but try to make it quick as I do have a meeting in a few minutes." It was explained with a reassuring tone.

Merlin knew that Arthur would let them wait anyway, but just did say this as their normal banter.

"As if. We both know you will make them wait anyway." He teased back and Arthur snorted as shaking his head and giving him the get on with it look, whenever he was trying to avoid talking about something.

"Well, you see I was um born as a female and just hated this. I know I lied to you, but I just feel like I am born in the wrong body. Being a female is just not something I feel alright with. Always hated when people called me with the pronoun she. I am sorry that I lied to you and pretended to be a male, but I just- well it's- sorry that I kept another secret, I just-" He would have continued nervously rambled on, but the soft touch on his cheeks made him stop his rambled so to look at Arthur with wide anxious eyes.

'Now he will for sure break up with me...'

"Hey, it's alright. When you say you are a male, then you are one. Even when your body isn't. As long as you are happy with your decision I will approve. Maybe we can even figure out a way with magic, to change your body." It was reassuringly said and he swallowed as feeling the tears build up, out of relief.

God, he loved Arthur so much for this. As always he was being there for him and accepting all of his, even this. A reason why he threw himself on Arthur, hugging him tightly thanking him over and over. With Arthur reassuringly and that was how they were got even a closer understanding between each other.