Merthur/Merlin one shot

Breakdown

Arthur wasn't sure what had happened but Merlin changed. He was different and there was like a wall felt. There was something that he couldn't understand about this. And he was really happy to see him again after all it had been hundreds of years.

It wasn't that he wasn't there but he had been stuck all the times in this God forsaken Lake Avalon. And he listened to each rant, each thing Merlin told into the Lake. Each worries just everything. But at some point, he had stopped coming and now he was worried.

Like yes that many years changing someone but that much? Merlin wasn't the male he knew anymore and he couldn't even sometimes recognize Merlin. The one he always loved. Gwen was someone that he loved as well but Merlin always was more than love. His feeling for the male went deeper. It wasn't just simply love.

It was something that he realized and he wasn't sure what to do and that hunted look the male sometimes had...was just breaking his heart. Never would he want to see him like this and it was painfully obvious that he was hiding his feelings.

Another thing he realized was the black bags under his eyes. As if the male never slept enough, when he slept at all. Sometimes he could hear whimpers next to him, but he wasn't sure what to do. Maybe it was time that he would finally talk to the male about this.

Maybe he should start pointing out the things he realized. Pointing out how much he hated seeing his crush like this. Maybe that was why he was biting his lips and trying to figure out how to get the male to talk.

Would he talk at all? Would he brush him off? What caused this? Will he manage to help Merlin? What can he do to help him through this? All these questions swirled on his mind so that he decided enough was enough. His concern was way too much right now and he wouldn't and couldn't look away. This wasn't what he wanted and it wouldn't for sure help his best friend.

"Merlin we need to have a talk."

The mentioned male froze at his tone and stared at him. It was clear that whatever that talk would be, won't be pleasant.

"O-okay."

Tone fragile and soft and he took his hand as leading them towards the couch. He pushed him softly down and sitting down himself. Then he turned around and looking straight into his eyes. Which still had a slight spark but it was more apparent that the male went through some unimaginable stuff.

"How are you really? And don't brush this off with your sentence, that you're fine. I can tell that something isn't right and I want to know. I want to know why you have that haunted look. I want to know why you can't sleep at night and sometimes not even sleeping at all. I want to know what your night terrors are about. I need to know because I am worried sickly for you.."

His voice calm and reassuring. There was just no way that he could let this one go and Merlin knew this. Mouth open but closing again and nothing escaped from the male. But soon the first tears rolled down and then a full-blown crying happened. The sobs broke his heart and he decided to pull the male into his arms.
.

.

.

"You better now?"

It had been now a few minutes later and the male in his arms nodded slowly. A sigh escaped and he slowly let go of the hug, but having still an arm around of the warlock.

"Alright so tell me what is going on. It clearly has eaten you up."

Merlin bit his lips first again and then letting out a sigh as leaning into his touch. He was sure that the male had been lonely. No one can tell him otherwise with that many years alone it made sense, but there was more behind it.

"I missed you. I missed you so much and I couldn't make friends. I was too caught up in fear that they will die. I saw many deaths not just from the sickness called black plague but as well from the first and second wars. It was bloody and I-I-I don't even know what to do anymore. And I should have been stronger and faster then you wouldn't have died."

Oh god. This was something that he read about and he felt horrible for Merlin. Now he knew why he was looking like this. Adding to his death it made so much sense and he regretted and always had regretted this. 

"Oh, Merlin. This never was your fault. Never think it was. I should apologize because I was the one who caused you pain."

Merlin's eyes widen at this and he smiled softly at the male. This was something that he could guess. By now he knew his thought process.

"I-..."

A sigh escaped out of his mouth as he pulled the male into another hug. The male in his arms felt stiffen but soon hugged back. This was something that he always regretted but the most he regretted was not tell his love for the other male.

"I have something else to tell you. I...okay so I love you."

He heard this Merlin say this and he pulled away and stared at the male with wide surprised eyes. Merlin flushed deeply and had a nervous look now. It was as well apparent that he thought that he would reject him.

"I guess our feelings were always mutual. Before you ask, yes I loved Gwen but what I feel for you goes into a deeper feeling than love. I wouldn't have married Gwen when I really had the chance but you, on the other hand, I wouldn't mind to marry."

Merlin looked at him with wider eyes. Another thing that changed was that the spark got more. There was after all in this age possible to do this and it was more accepting. And he was glad about this. 

"Really? You aren't fucking with me?"

Did he just say fucking? With him? Oh no his mind went there in the gutter. His imagination running wild now. Cheeks felt hot, so hot that he was sure that he was a flustered mess and it took him a moment to get something out.

 "Y-Have you any idea what you told me?"

His voice was unbelievable and Merlin was right now looking puzzled at him. God, he was innocent. 

"You said are you fucking with me. Which could mean you know..."

He trailed off and Merlin 'ohed' and his entire face was now lit up in a bright shade. It was clear that the male hadn't realized this.

"I-I-I didn't m-mean it l-like this."

A chuckle was what escaped and he smirked at Merlin. The male looked adorable right now.

"I know but my mind just went down a rabbit hole. But yeah I am not kidding with you. I love you."

Merlin's mouth changed now into a bright smile and giggles went out. God even his giggles were adorable. Now he really wanted to kiss the male, but he knew this wasn't the right timing.

"Wait what did you imagine?"

The male's head tilted to the side now and curiousness was seen. Now that he had asked this question, his entire face felt burning again. Let's just say it ended up Merlin in a flustered mess and they ended up having both talking more and where their relationship would head. With they decided with Lovers.