Hide Your Heart

Mistaken Conversation

Paul told Tommy he would be back in a few minutes. "I'm going to the front desk and have them hold any calls....or visitors."

"Calls?" questioned Tommy. "Who knows ....okay, go on."

"Don't let anyone besides me in."

Tommy agreed and closed the door behind Paul. He sat on the bed and began digging through his suitcase. Realizing he had forgotten to pack his muscle relaxers he started freaking out. "I gotta change Paul's mind about being intimate. " he said out loud. "I can't do this!"

Paul had just walked up and was about to knock when he heard Tommy talking about something. He put his ear to the door and listened. It sounded to him like Tommy was talking to someone. 

"If Paul finds out, he'll be so disappointed in me. I can't do this." "I can't!"

Waiting a few minutes longer, Paul knocked and waited for Tommy to open the door. After entering, he sat on the bed next to Tommy. " Okay, no one will call to be put through. Are you okay? " "You seem nervous." He crossed his arms and waited for an answer. "I'm beginning to wonder about your hesitancy to be with me. Baby, look at me...what's going on?" "Are you scared of me?" 

Tommy was taken by surprise. He just stared at Paul before managing to shake his head. "No, not of you. I-I-It's n-not that." he managed to squeak out. "I-I-I ...." Swallowing hard, he confessed he had forgotten his muscle relaxers and was afraid to be intimate without them. "I-I-I h-h-hurt afterwards and ....I-I-I j-j-just need them." "I-I-I will try it without them." he whispered, head down. "Please don't hate or hurt me."

Paul pulled Tommy to his feet and into a hug. "Why would I hurt or hate  you?" "Wait! Are you saying that you were......um, forced before?"

"I-I-I usually just took a muscle relaxer so I wouldn't feel anything during...you know. Afterwards, I could just go to sleep." "I was under the impression it's  just something I'm supposed to do in a relationship."

Paul had no idea what to even say at this point. He finally just sat back down and pulled Tommy down beside him. "Now I know why you seemed scared when I try to touch you. I should have realized something was wrong." "Baby, tell you what. Let's just talk about this, okay? I want you to feel comfortable enough to tell me anything."

"I can't! I'm ashamed!"

"Baby, it's not your fault." "How long have you felt this way?"

Tommy didn't have any answer. He just looked at Paul and shook his head.