Insomnia (A TsukiKage FF) ✔

57 - Test of strength!

The police officer exited the apartment and the door finally shut, leaving the trio alone once more.

It was quiet for a moment, everyone taking some time to digest everything that had and would happen. When Tsuki asked Kageyama if he was okay, the younger didn't reply. The blond frowned at this and looked over at Sobo who understood the message, heading into the bedroom and shutting the door behind her.

Immediately the younger got up off the couch and paced up and down, arms wrapped around his torso. Tsuki watched him, wondering just what he was thinking.

"Why did you say that?"

"Say what?"

"That I'd stay with you."

"Because I thought you would be. You can't stay at your house by yourself."

"Why not? You really think I'm that weak? Do you think I'll have a panic attack or get hurt or end up hurting myself again!"

Tsuki could see the conflicting emotions in Kageyama's eyes and stood up, wanting to say that wasn't the case when the younger continued.

"That's what everyone thinks isn't it?! That I'm just weak! A boy who was abused by his parents and can't take care of himself!"

"Nobody thinks that." 

"Don't they?! Because all of them did, Sobo does, and I know others do to. That's why they're gonna give me all these damn drugs so I can forgot how fucked up I am. Others think it too, I see it in their eyes. The team, you-"

"I don't think that at all!"

"Then why try and come in and say I'd be staying with you like some hero protecting the weak and innocent. I'll be fine, and I don't need to be suffocated by other people who think they know what's best for me because I don't deserve it!"

"Deserve what?"

"To be loved! Cared for or worried about by other people when I've done nothing to deserve it! If I wasn't this kicked about puppy who figured out he didn't find much joy in living anymore then would anyone still care?! Because I don't think they would and I-"

He cut himself off, breathing heavy and eyes wide. Where the hell did that come from? His shouting, no stuttering, all of those bloody honest truths. He stumbled a few steps back and looked afraid. Afraid that he'd said that all out loud and afraid... afraid that it was all true.

His knees gave way and he clamped a hand over his mouth before he blurted out anything else. His vision grew blurry and he gave into his misery. Tsuki had watched his outburst with pain and concern in his eyes; he felt his heart break a little at every word the setter said about himself. Is that what he really thought?

He knelt down by Kageyama and pulled him to his chest before speaking with a wavering voice.

"You really are stupid sometimes, you know that? Nobody thinks that you're weak or pathetic. Everyone- me, my family, especially the team- know how strong you are and how strong you are to be here right now. And don't for a second think that you're a lost cause who's fucked up and doesn't deserve love because that's the biggest lie I've ever heard. If you don't deserve love then I don't think anyone does. And I love you and I'm going to be here and remind you of that everyday even if you don't want me to. I'm going to tell you how strong and amazing and worthy you are because I'm not going anywhere for a long time. So please don't say things like that again, please."

Tsuki's words made the setter sob even more, and he gripped onto the blond's hoodie with white fists as he cried and screamed and let out everything he was feeling. He was in pain and tired and lost and he just wanted it to all stop so he could start over.

Not letting go, Tsuki reached over to his phone on the side and texted his mother that Tobio would be staying with them for a while. He put it back down and continued comforting the setter, rubbing a hand up and down the younger's back as he ran a hand through his hair. And when the setter pulled away he pressed kisses all over his face until Kageyama let out a small smile.

"There you are." he said gently, wiping away the remaining tears.

"I'm sorry, that was cruel..."

"No, I'm glad you were honest about what you're thinking and feeling. But I'm not changing my mind. You're gonna be staying with me. Is that okay?"

Kageyama nodded before leaning back into the blond's chest, returning their hug whilst he calmed down to the sound of Tsuki's heartbeat.