𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 |𝐇. 𝐏𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫

Chapter 49: blackwood

BIG TW FOR THIS CHAPTER!

I woke up in the middle of the night alone, in Y/n's bed. Y/n was almost always here when I woke up, whether it was morning or middle of the night. I noticed the doors weren't closed properly and got up, putting my robe on.

After leaving the common room I went to one place where Y/n usually spent time when she wanted to be alone for a while. Sure enough I found her sitting on the floor of the Astronomy Tower.

There were Polaroid pictures around her on the ground but she wasn't interested in them. She was looking at the ring between her fingers. I instantly recognized it, it was the same ring she always wore around her neck.

"Hey," I said walking over to her and sitting down. "Woke up and you weren't there so I thought I'd come check on you."

Y/n smiled at me, sliding the ring back onto the chain and putting it around her neck. "Yeah, sorry. I needed some fresh air."

"That's fine." I told her, my gaze traveling down to the pictures on the ground. "Can I take a look?" I asked reaching towards the pictures.

"NO DON'T!" Y/n said trying to stop me from taking the picture but I already did. And quiet frankly, I had what to see.

It was a picture of Y/n and a much younger looking Sirius. He was holding her bridal style in his arms, his lips pressed against hers. Her hand was on his shoulder, and on her ring finger, was glistening the same ring she just moments ago put around her neck.

I bit my lips and put the picture down, now realizing why she didn't want me to see it. "You two were - you were together?" I asked not wanting to sound hurt, but I was.

"Blackwood," she mumbled and I gave her a confused look. "That was your father's ship name for us. Your mother preferred Padxen."

Y/n stayed silent for a moment before turning to look at me. "The first time we got together was summer before the fifth year. We weren't together then, it more of a casual relationship for almost the whole fifth year. Then in May 1976, we became an official couple."

I swallowed my spit, "How did you break up."

"We didn't," she replied, "not really. I died and left London. We never had our official break up, but we never got together after that."

"I - I'm not mad." I told her, "Hurt a little, yes. But I'm not mad, I don't have any right to be. My mom still hated my dad back then. But it all makes sense now."

"What makes sense?" Y/n asked and I sighed, placing my hand over hers. "The way he used to look at you, and the way you used to look back at him. How badly his death affected you, how determinate you were to kill Bellatrix."

"I was pregnant." She blurted out, "When I died, I was three months pregnant with Sirius's child."

That left my mouth hanging open. "I want to tell you everything," Y/n said, "but I'm you'll hate me if I do."

"I want to know." I replied taking her hand in mine. "I want to know everything. Even if it hurts to hear, I want to."

Y/n bit her bottom lip and took a deep breath before she started talking. "The only people who know about this, are my vampire friends. Walburga, Sirius's mother, didn't give up on trying to make him become a death eater after he ran away. One day I found one of the letters he got from her and I knew she wasn't going to stop until she got what she wanted."

She took a moment to prepare her next words and I let her. I didn't want to push her to talk about something that may upset her.

"I went to their house. Made a deal with her. I was to take Sirius's place, and be the representative of the Noble House of Black, and she was to stop bothering him."

I knew what was coming next. But I didn't realize the weight of it until she said it.
"I became a Death Eater instead of Sirius, along with his brother, Regulus. Tom, or Voldemort, or whatever. He became obsessed with me. I didn't realize it at first, but as the time passed it became worse and worse. When I started my sixth year, I thought I was free, but he kept calling me, and Reggie, and other Death Eater."

Y/n swallowed her spit, "When I failed to do what he told me to, he would punish me. Mercilessly. Whether it was the Cruciatus Curse, or physical abuse and his punishments only got worse when he found out about my relationship with Sirius."

There were tears in the corners of her eyes. Whatever she was preparing herself to say must have been so terrible to have affected her this way.

"Near the end of May 1977, he asked me to stay behind after a meeting. Stupid me, I stayed. And . . . he started touching me, in ways he shouldn't have been. I protested, I cried, but I weak back then. I couldn't fight him off . . . he - he raped me, seven times."

She started crying, her face buried in my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "You don't have to say more."

"No," she said pulling away to wipe her nose, "no, I need to finish the story."

I wanted until she was calm, rubbed her arm. And when she stopped crying and collected herself she started speaking again. "I found out I was pregnant in the last week of June. Thankfully the dates didn't add up, it wasn't his. It was Sirius's - he never got the chance to know. I attended all the meeting in July and kept my head hanging low. Well it was in August, that he found out about my pregnancy, and that he found out it wasn't his. He came into my house at night, called all sort of things, and I remember his words, "If I can't have, no one can. Remember that while you bleed," and then he . . . he had a dagger and he stabbed me. In the stomach. As he was leaving, he set my house on fire, fire in which my whole family died. And then, my master, his name is Antonio, he found me and turned me."

Y/n wiped her eyes with the sleeves of her pajamas and hugged her knees. "The rest is history."

"I'm so sorry," I said breathlessly. I knew that Y/n suffered a lot in her life, but I never knew just how much. I didn't hate her, I wasn't mad at her, it didn't bother me that she was a Death Eater.

I admired her for being able to live after all of that happened to her. I found her strong, she was a survivor.

"Can I . . . hug you." She smiled at me and nodded, opening her arms. I pulled her to me arm wrapped my arms around her.

"There's no mark," she said, "not anymore. It disappeared when I died."

"It doesn't matter." I told her, pulling away to look into her eyes. "I love you. And I'll always love you. With a dark mark, or without it, vampire or not, I'll never stop loving you."

"I love you, Harry." She said putting her hand on the side of my face. "Always and forever."