Eternally Yours

Pain And Acceptance

856 A.D

A year after Herald was murdered by the demon Kari, Garin and Hannah were at a point in their marriage where they did not communicate with each other as much as they normally did.

They were sad and depressed and they barely spoke to each other at that time because they both didn’t know what to say. They were both ashamed that they weren’t able to protect their child and they were also angry that God and The Devil, their fathers, did this to them.

Was being cast to Earth not punishment enough? Why give them a child if all they intended to do was take him away? The couple was angry. They were filled with rage and hatred, especially Hannah and the fact that she used to be an angel did not quell her anger. She felt betrayed by God, she felt let down by him and her renouncement of him was even stronger now that she felt the loss of Herald more deeply because she could compare the entire year she had him and the entire year she didn’t.

Garin was in a dark place inside his own head. His demon rage threatened to overwhelm him but he tried his hardest to not lose himself to it, for Hannah’s sake. At night when they slept, he’d hear her sobbing beside him whenever she was missing Herald and he would hold her tight to let her know he was still here for her. And even in such vulnerable moments of intimacy and dependence, they’d stay silent in each other’s arms, still unsure of the words they needed to speak.

They really didn’t have anything to smile about. Nothing brought them any joy for a very long time, not even their selves. They became less affectionate towards each other and did not make love for that whole year because they just never felt the urge anymore.

One day, Hannah headed to the river to do her laundry while Garin remained at home to fix the broken ceiling of their humble home.

She walked very slowly to the river without any form of enthusiasm about what she was about to do. She basically dragged herself to the river and after she got there, she sat by the river bank for almost an hour and just stared at the water that entire time, thinking about her dead child.

She was thinking about him and she remembered the sound of his cries when Kari snatched him from his basket. She remembered the way his body was motionless on the floor and how he was soaked in a pool of his blood. She remembered how she was helpless to do anything to save him and all these memories broke her heart all over again.

She finally got herself to stop thinking about that horrible night and got to work on the clothes she needed to wash. She soaked some of the clothes in the river and began to beat on them with a stick to get the stains out. As she beat on the clothes, she started to get angry again and hit the clothes with so much force that some of them got ripped.

She let out a scream that echoed throughout the river, enhancing the emptiness she felt inside of her now hollow heart.

“Hannah?” A voice called out from behind her and she turned around to see that it was Fawn.

The angel was standing on the river water and had a solemn look on her face. She was also sad because of how sad Hannah was and was here to try and make her feel better about the loss of her Herald.

“What do you want, Fawn?” Hannah asked aggressively and turned away from her sister.

“I came to see you. I wanted to talk to you and see how you were holding up in person,” Fawn said.

“Like you care,” Hannah said with bitterness.

“I do care, Hannah. More than you know,” Fawn said.

“If you really did care, you’d have shown up to save him. You could have come to his aid and protected him from that demon,” Hannah said angrily.

“Saving Herald wasn’t up to me. God didn’t permit me to…”

“Exactly,” Hannah cut her off, “God didn’t permit it. He left my son to die and I hate him for it,” she said with bloodshot eyes, red and heavy from all the crying she had done for the past year.

“You don’t mean that, Hannah,” Fawn said.

“I do mean it, Fawn. I hate him with every fibre of my being. I despise him for being so heartless, for letting an innocent child die without even lifting so much as a finger to do anything about it,” Hannah cried out.

“You don’t know what you’re saying, Hannah,” Fawn said, sad that her sister now felt this way about a God she once adored.

“Don’t I? He disowned me because I fell in love. He cast me out of Heaven and made me barren. I adopted a child and he hated that I was happy without him so he took that child away. What kind of Father does all of that to his child and expect her to still love him? He’s an evil God,” She said angrily.

“Father is not evil,” Fawn argued.

“If you came here to defend him, I don’t want to hear it. Leave, Fawn. Get out of here. Go back to heaven and leave me alone,” she screamed and splashed the river water on Fawn.

.

.

Meanwhile, back at home, Garin could feel that something was wrong with Hannah. Their connection to each other made him feel her accelerated heartbeat and he knew that something was getting her worked up so he jumped off the roof he was repairing and ran to the river to check on her and make sure that she was alright.

As soon as he arrived at the river, he saw Fawn flying away and Hannah was angrily screaming and flinging all of her laundry into the river and the clothes were carried off by the current.

‘Hannah,” he called out to her and ran into the water to try and get her to calm down.

He held on to her and she screamed at him to let go of her but he didn’t. She struggled with him while she sobbed, trying to break away from his hold but he would not let her go.

“It’s okay, my love. I’m here for you. You don’t have to be strong with me. Just cry, let it all out because I’m not going anywhere,” Garin said, still holding on tightly to her.

Hannah wailed in his arms and Garin cried with her. Both of them let each other feel their pain and soak it up with their undying love that had been made dormant.

******

About an hour later, Garin took Hannah to the same spot where they first met when he was still a demon and she was still an angel; the field with the pond of Koi fish.

They both stood hand in hand by the pond and watched the school of Koi fish swim around in the clear water. It brought them both some peace of mind to be back here and it made them feel less destroyed by their misfortunes.

Garin pulled Hannah close to him and lifted her head to look at him. He wanted to tell her that it would be alright and that he would always be here with her for as long as they both shall live but the words felt unnecessary so he grabbed her face in his hands and kissed her.

A kiss they hadn’t shared in a very long time. A kiss that reignited their almost-forgotten love. A kiss that restored their happiness. A kiss that gave them hope that joy was still a possibility for them. A kiss that meant everything to them. A kiss that felt eternal.