Rwby react to something

Osterich ahoy. Wait it is an emu? Bah same thing

I don't know what surprises me more. That their was an war against emus in Austrailia, that mankind lost said war against emus or that at least four different people fully independent suggest for the same bloody thing like they read each others minds. Like what the hell? Also it was suggested that the white fang would be the goverment so here it is. Rwby belongs to roosterteeth the video belongs to simple history and my sanity to the bird on the tree outside so lets go before the prancing mounty kicks in(Reference)

"Today we are looking at something weird. The great Emu war!" said Knight. "The you say what now?" asked Yang. "The emu war. Basicly in an parallel world to yours the goverment had a problem with some local wild life in a place called australia. So they declared what could be considered war against the emus." said Knight. "And that wasn't senseless how?" asked Weiss. "I don't know because they lost." said Knight. "They lost... against a bird. A big bird but still a bird." said Blake while letting that info sink in and questioning the intelligence of that universe. "They were surely grimm emu and they had probably only close quaters combat weapons." asked Qrow hopefull. "No grimm and high firerate long range weaponry." said Knight and turned on the monitor.

(I am cutting out the sponsor)

"The great emu war" was the first thing that was shown. " In australia in 1932, a strange war would see a conflict between human and emus. Following the first world war, white fang and valean veterans were given plots of land by the goverment so they could become farmers. These farmers were struggling to grow their crops in the difficult conditions and the great depression had caused wheat prices to fall."

"What is the world war and the great depression?" asked Pyrrha. "The first world war is basicly a much bigger crueler version of your great war while the great depression was economy breaking down because money had basicly no worth at that time." answered Knight. "That is terribel!" shouted Glynda. "Yeah it is now eyes back to the video." said Knight."

1922 Emus, the indigenous soft feathered birds that are flightless, were a protected species, but they had been classed as vermin when 20000 ate crops across western australia.

"Yeah i can now see the problem here." said Raven while thinking about how a pack of grasshoppers ate there stash of veggie and tea leaves."That a re a lot of birds. But they do look like they would make a delicious roast." said Nora while thinking of roasted Emu and pancackes roasted in emu fat. "Nora no." said Ren. "Nora Yes." said Nora misciviously.

the ex-soldiers turned farmers, requested aid from the white fang military, asking the minister of defense, Sir Adam taurus, for machine guns and ammunition. Major G.P.W Meridith of the 7th heavy battery of the Royal White fang artillery, led two soldiers with lewis-like machine guns and 10000 rounds of ammunition. They confidently believed it would be easy to take down masses of emus at pointblank range with such weapons.

"It probably should be if they planned it smart. " said Ruby while crunching the numbers for the guns. "I would say take something explosive and blast them to kingdom come." said Nora happy. "while i am frightened to admit but she is right. With just a few explosive and a bit of planing the whole thing would be over. And because they are no longer protected that should be allowed." said Watts while stroaking his giant mustache.

The war was postponned to the second of november because of the heavy rainfall. They traveled to the district of campion, where they sighted around 50 emus and open fire. However, the speed and ability to scatter into small groups made the emus able to dodge the fire and move out of range. Most got away and only a handful were killed.

"Ok this is a small group of emus it can be forgiven. Just use explosive next time or proffesional hunters." said Jaune

Two days later. they spotted 1000 emus and planned to ambush the birds. They again scattered and dodged the fire even at close range and only 10 emus were killed and one of the lewis guns jammed. One of the soldiers said: "The emus have proven that they are not so stupid as they are usually considered to be. Each mob has ots leader, always an enormous black-plume bird standin fully 6 feet high who keeps watch, while his fellows, busy themselves with the wheat.

"Then shoot the giant bird! It is not that they are intelligent, it is that these idiots which are choosen for the mission are stupid! For goodness sake for something like that you build traps, lay decoys and such things! And not simply fire blindly in the group like a maniac!" shouted Weiss. "Where she is right she is right." whispered Summer to Qrow with him nodding.

At the first suspicious sign, he gieves the signal and dozens of heads stretch up out of the crop. A few birds will take fright, starting a head-long stampede for the scrub. The leader alwys remaining until his followers have reached safety. The next tactic was to mount one of the lewis guns on a truck. This failed too because the ride was bumpy and the emus were to fast makiing accuracy impossible. The idea came to an end when a lone emu got caught in the steering wheel.

"And another terribel idea how to not make the emu problem go away. Truly an example for mankinds inginuity." said Salem while sarcasticly clapping her hands. "Now now i am sure they are having something in the back of their minds with which they are capable of ... correcting the situation" said Ozpin with slowly dwindeling hope that this is possible.

"At least it is funny to imagine how two heavily armed soldiers lose two an pumped up bird." said Ruby smiling. This braught a laughter to the rest of the audience.

On november 8th, after the negative media coverage at the humorous failure to cull the emus and discussion on the white fang house of represetatives, the group withdrew. They had used up 2500 rounds of ammunition and killed just 200 emus.

"Oh dear oum. This has to be the worst kill to bullet ratio in history. Hahaha." laughted Qrow

Major g.p.w Meredith said in retrospect: "If we had a military division with the bullet carrying capacity of these birds it would face any army in the world. They can face machine guns with the invulnerability of tanks"

"By Oum stop stop i am shitting myself." wheezed Yang while being folded over by laughter with the rest of team rwby laughting in tandem.

A second attempt on the 12 of November was made afte more emu attacks on crops. It was more successful, claiming 986 kills using 9860 rounds, at a rate of 10 rounds per confirmed kill. Given these poor efforts, in the end, it was the emus that were victorious in the great Emu war.

"Oh oum! They lost! Hahaha! They lost to a bird who did not attack them once! Quick sent this to my scroll i need to prank someone whenever they mess up!" said Watts while thinking of Cinder and tyrian. "Already done." said Knight with a smile.

It was only after the goverment introduced bounties on the emus in 1934, that the mass culling was effective. Today, emus are protected under the Enviroment protection and biodiversity conservation Act of 1999.

"At least they, haha, managed to get this back under control. So what are we gonna watch next?" said Salem while wiping away a tear from her laughter.