Three Means Coffee

51

Makary was afraid that he had exaggerated, but Błażej smiled sadly, thus assuring him that everything was fine and this time he did not need the cover of darkness to speak. There was no sign of it hurting him either. 

"I won't interrupt you," the hazel-eyed whispered, leaning on the chair on which he was sitting.

"I'd appreciate it," the first year replied and thought for a moment about where to start. "You said you figured out your orientation early on, and so did I, but not immediately. I just started to notice that I could agree with my friends that the girls were pretty, but I didn't find them attractive in any way. Every once in a while someone would make a joke about it, but it made me wonder. I think it was only conversations with Monika and Krystian that allowed me to understand it. I thought it wasn't worth making a big deal out of it, and I didn't hide it or show it forcibly. I guess I was more ashamed to find out that I crocheted. It just so happened that everyone was fixated on it."

Błażej paused for a moment to let his throat rest and take another sip of tea, but there was not much left in the cup. He didn't want to hold the nearly empty vessel to give him the false hope that it would magically fill up again. So he put the mug on the table and suddenly noticed that there was nothing to do with his hands, which began to tremble. He thought he could handle it calmly, but he was surprised at how wrong he was. Makary suddenly grabbed his hands but did not look at him, afraid that this would be enough to ensure his support. At first, Błażej would try to break free, but he felt calm and realized that he did not want to do it.

"Anyway, I made it through my first year of high school. Only in the second did the problems begin. I couldn't cope with physics, we had a very demanding teacher who did not pay attention to the profile of the class and considered his subject to be the most important. I was hoping that sitting in the common room would help me focus on my studies, Adam happened to have the same idea. We were sitting next to each other, and he looked over my shoulder and helped me with the homework. It all started with him helping me pass physics and I helped him pass history. We got closer over time, or so I thought. You can probably guess how it ended. I was so stupid I fell in love with it."

Błażej needed a moment to gather his thoughts. He closed his eyes and couldn't see the worried look on Makary's face, who was staring at him. The hazel-eyed did not expect this story to be so unpleasant and painful to remember. But he hoped something good would come out of it.

"He was a damn good actor, the popular one, and a smart guy at that. The star of the theatre club, which girls were chasing, and I believed that a great love was born between us." The first year laughed maliciously as if to scold the previous version of himself. "You know what's best? Absolutely nothing happened between us, apart from holding hands or hugging, secretly of course. I kind of expected that maybe I'd get a kiss on my eighteenth birthday. My wish has almost come true..."