Three Means Coffee

108

Makary tried to postpone the confrontation with Błażej, suggesting that Mirek and the children stay for dinner. His older brother, however, sensed something was up and quickly fled, telling himself that he had no reason to feel guilty for messing things up between them. He had good intentions, after all.

The hazel-eyed man stared at his beloved, who was silent during dinner. He wondered if he had ever seen Blaise angry, upset yes, but never furious. This is what he expected when he figured out what Mirek must have been talking to him about.

However, the first year felt mainly resentment and disappointment. It was difficult for him to be angry, because he believed, after all, that Makary had some specific reason for keeping the invitation from him. While still washing the dishes, he gathered his thoughts and then decided that he was ready to talk. However, his beloved beat him to it.

"I guess what Mirek told you."

"So you know that he expects explanations," replied Błażej, sitting down opposite the hazel-eyed man on the sofa.

"Well," Makary said, perplexed. "I wanted to talk about it shortly after my mother mentioned it, but the longer I waited, the more difficult it was for me to bring it up with you."

"Why?" Błażej asked. "If you don't want to formally introduce me to your family yet, you should have told me."

"That's not the point," Makary muttered, grabbing the first-year's hand to calm him down a bit. "I would love to do it, but I didn't know how you would react to it, that maybe you would feel obliged to agree and you wouldn't feel like it. I was afraid it would be too serious a step and it would only discourage you."

"Makary," Błażej sighed heavily but smiled inwardly. He couldn't believe that as the less experienced one, he had to remind him of some important things. "There's not much time left and I don't have much time to think about it now. Your family seems nice, so I'd love to meet them, but I'm sad you didn't just ask me. How can we create an increasingly stronger relationship when things like this don't work anymore? I'm grateful that you consider what I've been through and don't want to hurt me. I also always keep your previous relationships in mind and I don't want to repeat the mistakes of your exes, but we can't walk around each other like we're on tenterhooks."

"You're right, I'm sorry."

Makary felt remorse and hugged Błażej to let him know that he was waiting for his forgiveness. The first year hugged back, inhaling the familiar scent, but he felt like he needed at least a little space. Much to the hazel-eyed man's dissatisfaction, he decided to go home, although he assured that he wasn't angry, he just wanted to be alone for a while.

Błażej said goodbye to the parrots and went to the apartment he shared with Krystian. He wondered if he had been too harsh with Makary, and at the same time if he had been honest enough with him.

Would he really like to meet his family? What if they don't like it? What if they decide he's not good enough for Makary? His family couldn't accept him, can he expect it from strangers? He was breathing with increasing difficulty, barely able to push away the bad memories that were trying to take control of him. He was close to the house, just a few more steps and then the stairs. He would be able to hide and immerse himself in the fear and pain that had been bothering him for some time. He delusively believed that he was slowly breaking free.

An elderly neighbour with her dog was just coming out of the cage. Their eyes met, the woman smiled at the young man, and suddenly he was calm. She just wanted to tell him with this simple gesture that everything would be fine.