In Real Life Imagines

Let Me Go (Drew Imagine)

"I'm sorry. The gene therapy hasn't worked. The leukemia has spread." 

I've been going through the motions the last few days. Chemo didn't work, gene therapy didn't work. I'm out of options.

"Delaney? Sweetie, I'm home," I hear Drew call from the front door and I blink a few times, grabbing the tea kettle.

"I'm in the kitchen," I say, reaching for a mug. My muscles grow limp then and the mug crashes to the ground, shattering.

Drew runs in and sees the mess, sliding his hands around my cheeks. "Are you alright?"

I nod and lean against the counter, closing my eyes. "I'm just feeling a little weak is all."

Drew sighs and helps me to the table before cleaning up the shards of ceramic. "I'm sorry."

He shakes his head and sits down, taking my hands in his. "Hey, it's okay. Don't worry about it. When are you going for another round of gene therapy?"

"I'm not. It's not helping. It just makes me tired and sick. I'm done fighting Drew," I mumble softly.

"What? Can't we talk about this?"

"No. No, I've made up my mind," I reply, shaking my head.

"Delaney, I can't lose you. I've never felt this way about anyone," Drew whispers, grabbing my hands in his again. I watch as tears well in his eyes.

"Sh, Sh. Drew, it's okay. I'm at peace with it okay? This is what I want," I squeeze his hands gently and he looks up at me. "I know it's hard, but I can't keep going through the motions pretending like I'm getting better. I want to spend the little time I have left with you."

He sniffles slightly and takes a deep breath, nodding a bit. "O-okay. If that's what you want."

I give him a weak smile. "I appreciate everything you've done for me, I do, but you need to start living your life again. You've cancelled so many shows because of me, you've missed rehearsals, Time with your family and with the boys. It's time to get back out there."

"I'm not leaving you until I absolutely have to Delaney," he responds. I nod and stand up, walking carefully and slowly up the stairs to our bedroom. I lay down and Drew tucks me in, kissing my forehead softly as he lays beside me. I trace random designs into his skin absentmindedly while he plays with my hair. 

"Promise me something," I whisper after a while.

"Anything." He brushes some hair out of my face lightly.

"When I'm gone, let me go. Don't shut down. Get out there, perform for the fans, and find someone that will make you happy," I say softly.

"You make me happy Delaney," he counters.

"Drew, promise me," I mumble, looking up at him with serious eyes. He swallows hard and nods.

"I promise."

I lean up slowly and press my lips against his sweetly. He slides his hand around my cheek and kisses me back softly and slowly, pulling me closer.

——————

"Delaney was a light in some many people's lives. She had a way of making everyone around her  happy. She liked everyone, and everyone liked her. I'd never met some more charismatic and kind-hearted. Everything she did was for others; she never put herself first. I didn't know people could be so selfless until I met her. When we first met I couldn't help but think that I didn't have a shot. She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen and surely she must have had a boyfriend. When she told me she didn't, I went for it. There wasn't a single day that went by where I regretted my decision to ask her out. From coffee shops, to beach dates, to dancing in the rain, Delaney was always such a carefree spirit. She always knew how to make me laugh when I was at my lowest. She could make me smile just by looking at me. When she first met the boys, I was scared they would think I was crazy for wanting to settle down with a girl I wouldn't be able to see a lot because of touring. Instead, they all fell in love with her too and told me not to let her go. We had a weekend off a while back, and Delaney insisted on getting outside instead of staying in even though I was exhausted. She brought me to the local shelter and we served homesless people meals. We went to the children's hospital and talked to sick children and played games with them. I'll never forget the way their eyes lit up when she walked in. She was so amazing with them. We went to the beach and picked up trash. She saved a turtle from suffocating by cutting a plastic ring from a water bottle off its neck. That weekend turned out to be the best weekend of my life and it opened my eyes to the wonderful things she did for this country. That was the weekend I decided I was going to spend the rest of my life with her. Then she told me she was sick. It was leukemia she said. My whole world came crashing down. I took her to her chemo sessions and when that failed, I took her to her gene therapy sessions. I held onto hope, I prayed everyday that she would come out of her tests and tell me she was in remission. Instead she got worse. She could barely walk or stand and she was growing weak and frail. That wasn't the life she was meant to live. Not the life she wanted. She told me just two weeks ago that she was giving up the treatments. She told me she just wanted to spend the little time she had left with me. I tried to convince her to change her mind, but she had already made up her mind. She told me she couldn't stand being weak and fragile. She didn't want to be sick anymore and that meant giving into the leukemia and living the rest of her days to the fullest. In my eyes, that was the strongest thing I had ever seen her do. I admired her and loved her more for it. That same day, she said the most selfless thing I've ever heard. She told me to let her go. She said to move on, be a role model for the fans, and to find someone to make me happy again. She didn't want me dwelling on what could have been with her. She wanted me to continue living because even if she can't, she wants me to be truly happy and to live a full life. She doesn't want us to live in the past and regret what could have been. She would want us to be happy and do the things we love with the people we love. Delaney Marie, you will be deeply missed and I will never stop loving you. I made you a promise and I intend to keep it. Rest easy baby girl. I love you."

Tears stream down my cheeks as I break down, walking back to my seat. The boys all wrap their arms around me and just hold me. I can hear their sniffles too and somehow that comforts me just a bit, knowing I'm not alone.

"That was so well said," Brady assures, patting my back.

"She's looking down on you right now and she's so proud of you for staying strong," Chance adds.

"Strong? I'm not staying a strong. I'm a wreck. She was the strong one. I can't do this without her," I whimper, my voice cracking.

"Just getting up there tonight took courage and strength. You have more strength and control in you than you realize and she knew that. That's why she made you promise to move on. Take your time. It's okay to grieve and miss her and you'll never stop missing her, but when you're ready, you have our support and her support to move on and be at peace," Sergio soothes.

I wipe at my eyes and nod. "Thank you guys. You have no idea how much you guys mean to me."

Michael squeezes my shoulder. "Don't even worry man. We'll always have your back."

I dig in my pocket for a Kleenex but instead my fingers brush against the cool smoothness of a slip of paper. I pull it out and unfold it. What I see makes my heart swell.

Always remember how much I love you. You gave me the best three years of my life. I'm proud and so grateful to say that I got to spend the rest of my life with you. Thank you for making me laugh and smile everyday. Thank you for always taking care of me when I needed you. Thank you for showing me what true love is. I may not physically be walking around with you anymore but know that I am always with you in spirit and in your heart. Remember your promise. It doesn't have to be now, and it doesn't have to be soon. When you're ready, take a deep breath and look up to the sky. I'll know then that you're ready to let me go.

                                                                                                                           -xx Delaney

Sorry guys, I know this one is slightly depressing but I got the idea after watching a show and wanted to write it out before I forgot it!