*First Year*
James: *stands up on table* LILY EVANS!
*Everyone looks up to see what he's yelling about*
Lily: Oh god.
James: I HERBY DECLARE THAT BY OUT SEVENTH YEAR I WILL MAKE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH ME.
Lily: *covering face* Stop you're embarrassing me.
James: OTHERWISE I WILL DIE OF SHAME RIGHT HERE IN THE GREAT HALL!
Lily: I already did that.
McGonagall: JAMES POTTER GET OFF THE TABLE!
*Second Year*
James: LILY EVANS! *climbs onto table during lunch*
Lily: Potter don't you dare!
James: IT HAS BEEN A FULL YEAR AND I AM ASKING YOU NOW. ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH ME YET?!
*Everyone looks at Lily snickering*
Lily: NO YOU BUMBLING IDIOT!
James: I REPEAT YOU WILL LOVE ME BY OUR SEVENTH YEAR!
Lily: Let's go to the library, Severus.
Severus: Um, ok.
James: YOU'LL SEE. WATCH SEVERUS I WILL STEAL HER FROM YOU!
McGonagall: Potter, please would you descend from the table.
*Third Year*
James: *kicks a glass into Remus lap* PEOPLE OF HOGWARTS. I STAND BEFORE YOU TODAY-
Lily: Oh lord, not again.
James: TO ASK ONCE MORE-
Lily: Remus do something please.
Remus: *tugging on James robes* James please-
James: QUIET REMUS. TO ASK ONCE MORE IF YOU, LILY EVANS, LOVE ME YET?!
Remus: Please Prongs-
Lily: *standing up from the table* No Potter! I don't! I despise you! You're a bully and an idiot! *she storms out with Severus closely behind her smiling broadly*
Sirius: . . . Haha Prongs.
James: Shut up, Padfoot.
McGonagall: Detention Mr Potter.
*Fourth Year*
James: *approaches Lily, bows deeply then proceeds to get onto the table and stand in her potatoes*
Lily: *glares at him* Must you really?
James: ATTENTION TEACHERS AND STUDENTS OF HOGWARTS OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY.
McGonagall: I'm gonna go ahead and write you a week of detention.
James: I STAND BEFORE YOU TODAY TO ASK ALL OF YOU TO WITNESS THE MAGNIFICENT TRANSFORMATION IN ME AND LILY EVANS RELATIONSHIP.
Lily: There isn't one.
James: LILY EVANS ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH ME YET?
Sirius: *chanting rhythmically* Say yes, say yes, say yes, say yes.
Lily: No, I am not.
Severus: Come on Lily, we can go study potions. *they leave*
James: She will love me, Wormtail don't look at me like that.
Peter: Okay, whatever you say.
Remus: Get off the table, Prongs.
*Fifth Year*
Remus: I know what you're thinking.
James: Yep.
Remus: Must you really?
James: Yep.
First Year: *to Peter excitedly* What is it, what is he going do?
Peter: You'll See.
Sirius: Prongs, you know we only dared you to do it our first year.
James: Yep.
Peter: And you don't have to do it again.
James: Yep.
Remus: *sighs* Get it over with.
James: *Leaps onto table kicking food everywhere* LILYEVANSDOYOULOVEMEYET?!?!?
Lily: *Doesn't look up from her writing* Nope.
James: *Climbs down* I have two years.
*Sixth Year*
James: Today's the day I can feel it.
Sirius: Is it already?
Remus: . . . .
James: *disappears under cloak* I'll wait for her to enter the room. *knocks over goblet as he stands on table*
Lily: Hello, Remus. Where's Potter?
Remus: He says he feels something. *Sirius and Peter giggle*
Lily: Oh, so he's sick.
Remus: You could say that. *Sirius and Peter giggle louder*
Lily: Well then. *She sits opposite of Remus and reaches for some food but hits something she can't see*
James: LILY EVANS.
Remus: *to himself* perfect timing.
James: *throws cloak off* I MUST KNOW HOW DEEPLY AND TRULY YOU LOVE ME! DON'T BE AFRAID TO ANNOUNCE IT! WE ALL KNOW YOU LOVE ME!
Lily: Your fly is down.
Lily:*Walks away eating Toast*
James: . . . .
Remus: . . . .
Peter: . . . .
Sirius: . . . . .
McGonagall: Potter . . .
James: I know, detention.
*Seventh Year*
Remus: Oh Prongs come on.
Sirius: Seems a little ridiculous.
James: It's necessary.
Peter: Here she comes.
Lily: Morning you guys.
James: *clears throat and steps up onto table*
Lily: Oh Lord. *turns and starts to leave*
James: LILY EVANS! OUT FIRST YEAR I DECLARED I WOULD MAKE YOU LOVE ME BY THIS YEAR! IT'S NOW OR NEVER LILY! YOU EITHER ANNOUNCE TO EVERYONE THAT YOU LOVE ME OR I WILL RUN AWAY WITH SIRIUS!
Sirius: I'm down.
Lily: *Looks at James furiously* I- *She looks at the table and climbs up facing him* I'M ALREADY YOUR GIRLFRIEND YOU TOERAG! DON'T WORRY PROFESSOR WE WILL BOTH REPORT TO DETENTION LATER!
James: *climbs from table* Padfoot, you owe me 10 Galleons.
YOU ARE READING
Harry Potter Jokes
HumorWelcome welcome everyone to the Joke book. These Jokes are Harry Potter Jokes only. Trust me you haven't seen these ones before, I know everyone will probably say: oh ya pffft sure but trust me you haven't, there mostly Marauder jokes ^-^
