If It Was Caleb--Divergent alternative ending

Tris' P.O.V

A gun fires and I hear a thump.  "Caleb?!" I shout and scoot over to him.  I see him.  Blood is pooling around his head.  "Caleb!  No!" I shout.  I cradle his head in my lap.  He can't leave me. . After a while all tension in his body releases.  He's gone.  Caleb is gone.  David.  I lay his head down and pick up my gun.  I hear footsteps and see him walk towards me.  He's alone.  I aim the gun.  My finger pulls back.  'BANG'.  It hits him in the shoulder.  We have succeeded in the mission.  At what cost?  Caleb is gone.  My parents are gone.  It's all my fault.  I did this to them.  I can't do this.  My body crumples to the ground as I sit and hold Caleb.  I killed him.  I killed my brother.  What have I done?  His eyes are still open.  I can't look at them.  I pull his eyelids down.  I can't look those beautiful eyes looking back at me.  "I'm sorry." I whisper into his ear.  "I'm sorry."
         I let out slow, heaving sobs.  My entire body aches for them.  My famuly.  I deserve to die.  I don't deserve Tobias.  A door opens and I hear the pitter patter of footsteps.  It doesn't even matter who it is.  I look over and see Tobias.  He runs over to me.  I push him away.  He kneels a few feet away.  What kind of funeral would he want? Not dauntless.  Abnegation.  That's what I'll do.  I cry until I have no tears left.  Tobias helps me carry him.  We take him to Abnegation and give him a quick funeral.  How could I live with myself?
                 I run to the train and jump on.  Tobias soon follows.  He walks up to me and tries to comfort me.  "Get away from me!" I scream at the top of my lungs.  He backs away slowly..  He is hurt.  I can see the pain in his eyes.  What have I done? I killed my parents and brother.  Now I'm pushing Tobias away.  We are approaching the compound.  When I make the jump,should I miss?  Do I really want to live? I need to decide because it's becoming time.  I need to die.  I can't live like this.  I got my whole family killed.   I can't go on like this.  I need to...