Secret Mistake 3

80.

DELANO POV

I agreed with Gia that I go back to therapy. It has helped me a lot but I also see my old habits trying to come out. At this point I'm not sure I can control it.

"Are you Delano?" A man asked.

I nodded. We motioned me to follow him to his office. Taking a seat on the sofa he had. "So Delano... tell me why are you here?".

"Just trying to fix myself for my wife and myself" I said.

"Good answer. I see you had previous therapy in Arizona. Looking over those records it gave me a sense of who you are by what you shared".

"I didn't even know therapist shared files" I said.

"It's a new thing. So here it says you have a control problem" he looked at me. I shrugged "yeah I do".

"Tell me about it" he said.

"What do you want to know about it?" I asked.

"Well in your point of view why do you think you have this need to control... it stems from somewhere" he said.

Memory...

I was about seven. My sister at the time was a baby. But she wasn't home as much. She was always with my mom or a sitter. But me... I was always home alone. I hated being by myself. Sitting on my bed in my room just looking out the window. Hoping my mom comes back soon.

She's been seeing this new guy. Ever since she's barely been home. Usually she would have a nanny here with me but she stopped. I guess she didn't want to pay for one. Not really understanding cause we have money. To be honest I haven't seen my mom in at least two days.

This was a big house to be alone in. At night I would be so scared to leave my room. It was so dark in here. I wonder if I did something for my mom to just leave me here. Hearing the door open I jumped off my bed and raced downstairs. "Delano?! Are you here alone?" My grandma asked. I nodded.

"Poor thing! Come on go get your shoes on. You're coming with me until your mom gets back. Whenever that is. I see she's chasing the new wallet" she said. I loved my grandma. She was so sweet and loving. When I got to her home she made me something to eat. "I keep telling her she can't just up and go leaving you alone!".

"She said she will be back but she doesn't come back" I said. My grandma gave me a small smile but I knew it was a fake one. "Don't worry as long as I'm alive you'll be cared for". I smiled at my grandma.

Later that night my mom came over to get me "Delano Roosevelt Reid get down here so we can go home! NOW!" She yelled. Looking at my grandma a little nervous. "Go ahead Delano" she said. Getting up I made my way to my mom. "Didn't I tell you to not go anywhere with this old bag?!".

"But—But I was alone" I said.

"Delano you are a boy. Man up! You sound like a sissy" she said. Not saying anything else. Two days after I left my grandma's house she passed away. My only sanctuary was gone. Now who's going to be there for me now?.

End...

"Sounds like you suffer from abandonment issues which leads you to have this need for control" he said.

"Then that's where it stems from" I said.

"Do you feel that your sense of control over your wife is because you are afraid of her abandoning you... like how your mother and grandmother did?".

I shrugged "Gia left me numerous times. At one point she hid from me with help so..."

"And I bet you went crazy, correct?" He asked.

"I did. Actually every time she left I went looking for her" I said.

"Delano... you do know your grandma didn't abandon you. She passed away" he said.

"In a way she did. And she didn't die of natural causes. Apparently she was poisoned" I said.

"Oh! But she didn't purposely leave you" he said.

"More like taken away. She was my only source of happiness and it was just ripped from under me. I refuse for that to ever happen again. Refuse!" I said.

"Hence why you are the way you are with your wife. You just said it. Your wife is the replacement for your grandmother. Anytime your in need of anything she is there to supply it. The control aspect is from the fear of being left behind. I can almost be sure you have more stories pertaining to abandonment".

I didn't say anything.

"How would you rate yourself as a father?" He asked.

"An easy ten!" I said.

"So confident I see" he joked.

"That's one thing I'm good at amongst something else... but I didn't want my children growing up the way I did. I want them to feel love and wanted" he nodded "you know I'm happy you broke that beginning cycle".

"You know I had a lot of money growing up. Had my own business by the time I was in my twenties. But I didn't have love. They always say money doesn't buy happiness and it sure didn't" I said.