Secret Mistake 3

100.

GIA POV

It felt good to get mostly everything out and letting Delano know about my troubled past. Feeling a little better than how I came in here. But I felt so guilty for lying to Ryan. He deserved to know the truth. I stood there washing the dishes. Seeing Ryan walking around me to go to the fridge.

"Ryan come here" shutting off the water. He stood there looking at me. "I have to keep reminding myself you are no longer a kid. You're growing up and I have to be honest with you".

He didn't say anything.

"I'm struggling. After all I've been through I'm struggling mentally. Everyday is a new day but it's hard for me. Especially what your dad did... it doesn't make it any easier. I'm fighting with my mind everyday".

His face softened up a little.

"And it wasn't right that I lied to you. I'm sorry for that. I guess I'm still trying to protect you guys from my crazy mind".

"Mom? It's okay. I know all of this already. Actually we all know this about you. I've watched you from day one struggle with mental illness. I know it's not easy. But I've seen you get help. And at least try to be better".

Tears filled my eyes "I love you guys so much! My main source of happiness. Especially you Ryan. You made me realize when I had you that unconditional love do exist".

Ryan hugged me "Mom we love you too! Don't worry you are never alone fighting this battle within yourself. Remember we are here too".

I nodded "I know! You can fool everyone else but I see right through you. Mister sensitive!".

"Mom? I'm not sensitive! Far from it" he said.

"Your siblings are lucky to have a big brother like you" running my fingers through his curls. He would only allow me to do this. "Have you forgiven dad?".

"Truthfully... no I haven't. It's not that simple for me to just forgive and forget" I said.

"It takes time... but I know you'll come to terms with what he did and you'll forgive him for it. Dad loves you a lot" he said.

Ryan has always been the kid to always find a way to get Delano and I back together. From the second time I left... pregnant with Kai. He tried to get us back together. It worked for a short time. Then when I left the third time... he tried but not so much persistence. The last time I think he knew it was going to be a lot of work. He saw the damage that was done.

"Mom we aren't going to leave dad again, right?" He asked.

"No, why?" I asked.

"Well I know usually when you are going through your thing it makes you think irrational. Then you just said you didn't fully forgive dad. Just making sure the thought of leaving isn't on your mind".

"Ryan I promise we aren't leaving" I said. He smiled "good". Kai came out with Salem hugging him "Can someone detach her from me!".

"Salem let Kai go!" I said. She laughed "I can't help it!". Looking at those three I felt proud of myself. Managing to become a Mom was the best thing I did.  "Where's Harlow?".

"She's on my bed watching the tablet"Kai said.

Grabbing their arms pulling them to me. "You guys are the best thing that's happened to me! Including Harlow!". Salem looked up at me "you are the best mommy!". Hugging all three of them. Our kids always made me feel better.

Letting them go Salem attaches herself to Kai. He was annoyed but he sucked it up. Shaking my head "I don't understand their relationship".

"She's weird with Kai. From ever since. I think it's because he resembles dad. It's weird" Ryan said.

"How come Harlow isn't like that with you?" I asked.

"Because majority of the time Harlow is observing. The other times she's plotting so she rather be left alone" he said.

"She's probably plotting against Salem as usual" I joked.

"I don't mess with Harlow" he said. Shocking Ryan doesn't mess with Harlow. Let me find out he met his match!. "Oh snap! Your birthday is coming up. What do you want to do?". Ryan was never a showy kid. He was low key type of person.

He shrugged "no party! I guess we can all go out to dinner but no cake either. When they come to the table that's embarrassing!".

"Can't let me live?" I joked.

"Mom... just dinner. That's it!" He said.

"We can't have cake here at the house?" I asked.

He sighed "fine but a small cake".

I smiled "I can work with that. My big boy is growing up. Now I'm getting emotional. Come here!". Ryan backed up "Mom no! Come on!".

"What? My babies aren't babies anymore!" I whined.

"Yup, that's my cue to go!" He walked backwards slowly. I smiled to myself. He may claim he's not emotional but I know Ryan. He hides it well.