Secret Mistake 3

189.

GIA POV

After speaking to Delano... I quietly walked out the room and to the kitchen. That's when I saw Kai sitting at the table. A smile came to my face cause Kai was my miracle baby. He turned to me and gave me a small smile. Walking up to him I motioned him to come to the couch. He got up and sat next to me.

Quietness came upon us.

"That guy wasn't my dad, right?" He asked. Pulling him to me as he laid his head on my chest. The one thing I loved doing was playing with his curls. Ryan and Kai didn't let anyone play in their hair but me.

"No kai, Anthony isn't your father. Your father is in the room about to go to sleep" I said.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"I'm positive! You are the product of your father and I and we love you very much" I said. He snuggled more into my arms "you know when I found out I was pregnant again... I wasn't sure if I was ready to start all over again. But as time went on I bonded with you. I knew in a way you were special. But we went to the Bahamas and you were born there. When you were born your lungs weren't developed fully. It was a scary time. But you pulled through and got stronger. Ever since then I've held you lose to me. Daddy thinks I babied you but he doesn't fully get I almost lost you!".

"Were you happy I looked like dad?" He asked.

"Your looks didn't matter to me. As long as you were healthy and happy" I said.

He looked up at me and smiled "thanks mom! I feel a lot better".

"I'm happy you d0... and I'm sorry this all happened making you second guess yourself" I said.

He wrapped his arms around me "love you!". Placing a small kiss on his head "love you, too!". We stayed on the couch for a few hours. Next thing I know I heard snoring. Kai fell asleep on me. Rubbing his hair back gently... I just stared at the boy who I loved just as much as the other children.

Delano came out and smiled "need help".

"Yeah he's too heavy for me" I said. Delano came and picked up Kai and took him to his room. I got up feeling better than Kai was better than before. Delano just closed door and smiled "I find it odd that you are different person with the kids than you are with me".

I shrugged "I'm a mom... I want our children to feel loved and never second guess it. Unlike how we were raised".

"Why can't you make me feel loved the same way?" He asked.

"I - I'm trying. But with the kids it's easier" what I wanted to say was I felt safer with the kids showing them love won't backfire. They wouldn't hurt me.

"So I'm difficult?" He asked.

"That's not what I'm saying!" I said.

"So explain it to me... I'm trying to understand what goes on in Gia's head" he said.

"Kids are innocent to me. They are a safe haven for me. I can show them all the love I want and they love me back unconditionally. They wouldn't hurt me. Or judge me. I'm mom. They look at me with love in their eyes. You... I'm afraid to completely give myself to you knowing you could easily hurt me. I don't want to feel that type of hurt anymore".

Delano stood there with nothing said.

"Yes I've done my dirt. But I learned from it. Didn't like the way I felt afterwards. That's also why I never slept with K. I'm not sure if it has something to do with the abuse I went through but sex with strangers isn't for me. As for the third person... I'm not sure if I'm ready to speak on that just yet".

"Tell me please" he said.

"When I was fourteen... I went to work with my dad. I was so happy because I got away from my mom for the day. I was having the best day ever. Nothing could go wrong I thought. I met my dads coworkers and was having a good day. My dad sent me down to the cafeteria to get lunch. I bumped into one of this same coworkers I met. One in particular was very fond of me. His name is Joey. I thought Joey was a nice guy. He made me laugh and even bought me lunch. Joey basically latched onto me. Took me everywhere he went even into the storage room... he claimed he had to get some more supplies. Not thinking anything of it. Once we got downstairs he was getting creepy. He started tickling me trying to be playful but I didn't like it. Trying to make my way out of there he got upset. Another side of him came out. He grabbed me pushing me to the floor and well..."

"You never told anyone this?" Delano asked.

"I wanted to. But who would believe me? My mom has stored in my brain that I can tell anyone what's going on but they won't believe me. So I just refused to go back there. And I never did. I don't blame my dad cause he didn't know".

Delano sighed "Gia... I-I... what can I say?!".