The room was small yet neat, it had minimal decoration and it seemed as though the owner of the motel wanted to avoid having anything that could be easily broken.
Cosmo was silently unpacking their things, bringing enough clothes for what (Y/n) guessed to be three or four nights. He huffed or muttered to himself a few times but never said anything directly to (Y/n). She also held back from breaking the silence, not knowing if he was still mad at her.
She perched on edge of a solid feeling queen sized bed, watching his movements intently.
He had checked them both in under fake names but was still anxious about either Perdax, Lūsis or both finding the two of them. Cosmo had given himself this break in order to recalibrate and really figure out what the safest next move would be for his relationship with (Y/n). The best course of action felt like getting out of the country but he wasn't sure of where to go, where they'd stay and Cosmo also didn't want to be taking out anymore seedy loans.
He'd been foolish enough to think this was easy- it had always been easy for him before but now an unknown fear was dawning. What if there was nowhere else to turn?
Between betraying Perdax, his own daring breakout and stealing (Y/n); there was enough of a target on his head to warrant this much stress, he just wasn't used to feeling it.
Cosmo had always been so confident that he could get his way out of any scrape- that was how it had always gone! He had always trusted his own intelligence and ability and just relied on that. It was the added factor of (Y/n) that was the true stressor in this situation.
Before, he could always leave everyone behind and start anew. There would be faces that he'd miss, some more than others, but he always knew he had to leave them behind.
Cosmo tried to leave (Y/n) behind when he first broke out. His feelings for her weren't yet fully grown and he incorrectly assumed that he'd eventually just get over it. But instead he truly lived through the saying that 'distance makes the heart grow fonder', and that culminated in an obsession with returning her to his side.
If he'd just left her then he'd be miles and miles away already, he always would've been able to collaborate with the investigative service again which was no longer an option to him due to the unfortunate illegality of kidnapping.
So he has to control her on his own, and that was a lot more work than he had bargained for.
Cosmo didn't know that there were others willing to go to great lengths for her too. It wasn't that he regretted taking her, not in the slightest. He just acknowledged that the decision gave him a lot of shit to deal with and he was less confident he could get through it.
He sighed out deeply and zipped up the final bag they had to unpack. "We'll be living off whatever they sell in the deli across the street for the next few days." He announced.
"That's fine." (Y/n) replied.
Cosmo bit down on his tongue, he knew it was wrong to want more out of her than what she was giving him. Oddly, he longed for when he was Lūsis' captive. At least (Y/n) actually spoke to him in more than two words back then.
Now it seemed like she couldn't stand to be in any interaction with him and it hurt tremendously. He felt like he was putting in a lot of effort in trying to understand her position, didn't make it hurt any less.
"Where are we going after this?" She asked.
He feigned a smile that (Y/n) could tell was dreadfully fake. "Don't worry about it, sweetie."
Cosmo was resistant to letting (Y/n) know how precarious their position was and telling her the fact that he had no idea where they were going to go. "Everything will be okay." He said, as much for his own sake as it was for (Y/n)'s. "Just.." Cosmo paused with a sharp exhale. "Be good and nothing bad will happen."
Her shoulders hunched inwards. (Y/n) wasn't sure what 'bad' thing he was threatening but was not curious enough to find out.
She watched his behaviour with great attention. It was obvious he was acting different, and it wasn't just in the way he was talking to her because of her trying to run away.
"Are you alright?" (Y/n) questioned with a wince.
"Yes." His answer came fast. No hesitation. Cosmo didn't trust (Y/n) enough to expose his vulnerabilities to her. "Stay there, I need to use the bathroom." He said before she could ask him again.
Cosmo darted into the tiny washroom, locking the door behind him. The murky mirror showed his reflection, his nerves being shown in the tension in his muscles and dark eyes bags. He was honestly surprised that the past few days hadn't made him sprout grey hairs.
His chest began to shake when he came face to face with himself. He was weak- who did he think he was? Did he truly believe he could be enough for (Y/n)? He was unable to keep her safe and now she was holed up in this place with no certain future.
He couldn't stop the tears that came to his eyes when the realisation that he'd failed (Y/n) dawned on him.
Now looking down at the floor, teardrop after teardrop ran down his cheeks.
A soft knock sounded front he other side of the door. "Cosmo?" The clarity in (Y/n)'s voice reminded Cosmo of just how thin the walls were.
"Shit.." He hissed under his breath while wiping at his eyes, trying and faing to hide that he'd been crying. Cosmo opened the door up.
"What's wrong?" She didn't like how bad she felt, she shouldn't be pitying him. But the sound of him crying still broke her heart. "Is this about yesterday?"
"It's about a lot of things." He said quietly. "I...I love you but I don't feel like..like I'm enough." Cosmo dropped his head, unable to look in her eyes any longer. "Please, (Y/n), please tell me that I'm enough." His crying started up again. "That I-I'm not as weak as I feel."
(Y/n) gave him no verbal response. Her pity didn't stop her resentment and hatred for what he was doing. After a few seconds she put her arms around him, embracing him close. She felt him shake against her as he squeezed her back.
YOU ARE READING
strange craving ((yandere x reader))
General Fiction(m.yanderes x f.reader) (complete) (Y/n) had been in love with best friend for almost as long as she'd known him, it was too bad that he was desperately obsessed with someone else. For now, at least.
