After Forever & Ever

Chapter 73

Hardin-Present

When I wake up the next morning I realize how fucked I am....Bray isn't going to be able deliver on what I need her to before I go back to Seattle.....

She has an amazing voice...but can't connect to her music to save her god damn life....which is so fucking frustrating.

Before I rush out for the morning I have a cup of coffee with Vance. I'm really not mad anymore even though I think he thinks I am.

"How did yesterday go?" I ask him.

"It went really well I actually found an office space I really like....and a house on the beach which is something I have always wanted." He tells me.

"So you are serious about a move here?" I question.

"I am...I think it will be good for....for all of us." He says to me.

And honestly I am slightly weirded out he is moving to California for me...but he is going to have work here for Tessa which again makes it all the more perfect for us.

I just hope she sees it that way.

"How did yesterday go for you?" He asks me.

"Frustrating." I reply honestly.

"It's crazy they had you start already." He says to me.

"Yea....Bray is not going to make this easy either." I tell him.

"Tessa know about her yet?" He asks me.

"Uhhh not yet....Bray is going to be one of many artists like her that I'll have to work with. Hopefully she trusts me enough to not have it be an issue." I tell him.

"I put the ring in the safe but I know you have to work the rest of the afternoon and we have to check out of the hotel so do you want me to hold onto it or you?" He asks me.

"I'll hold onto it. I'm just going to bring my stuff with me to the studio then I'll meet you at the airport around 4pm for our flight." I let him know.

"You think you will finish in time?" He asks me.

"I hope so...fuck. I didn't get Tessa anything for her birthday tomorrow yet." I reply.

"Do you want me to pick something up?" He asks me.

"I'll figure it out...but I gotta get going so I'll call you when I'm leaving the studio." I say to Vance as I finish my last sip of coffee and walk out of the door with my bags.

I let him take the rental and I grab an Uber.

I return to the studio and to my surprise Bray is already there.

She has a coffee in hand and hands me one. "Here i got this for you...I didn't know how you take it so I just got it black since I figured that would suit you." She says to me.

"Uh thanks...have you already been working this morning?" I question.

"Trying to. But the chorus I think needs a male voice..." she says to me.

"Well we don't have that so we have to make do with just you." I tell her.

"What about you?" She asks.

"What about me?" I respond.

"Can you come in at the chorus?" She asks me.

I don't know why this would even be a thought of hers but no fucking way.

"No...now can we get past where we did yesterday so I can fucking get back." I tell her.

But just like yesterday hours go by and it's shit absolute fucking shit.

We aren't even close to being done and I have an hour before I have to get to the airport.  I haven't even talked to Tessa all day because I've been so fucking busy.

I fucking give and do the chorus with her:....

I've made mistakes I hurt you. (Me)
You broke me and I can't forgive you. (Bray)
I loved you and it almost killed me. (Me)
Your love was all that kept me alive. (Bray)
I want to be your only reason. (Me)
It's never been enough to have you just be mine. (Bray)
My heart breaks and I can't shake it. (Me)
There is something in me that knows I just can't take it. (Bray)
You're a gift and a curse but one thing is for sure I won't get through this without you by my side and one day I'll look back and thank god I survived. (Me)

And maybe that was the magic she needed because she connected with the song finally...unfortunately a little too late because we still have the whole last part of the song to record.....

So I call Vance and let him know I am going to have to catch a later flight. He makes me promise I leave tonight still and I hope I can keep that promise.

I haven't quite broken that news to Tessa yet....fuck she's going to be pissed especially it being her birthday tomorrow..

That song hits me harder than I thought I knew what it meant when I wrote it but singing it and feeling it...makes it all the more real for me.

We take a final break before trying to knock out the last part of the song. I go outside for a cigarette. Not what I should be doing but I'm pretty fucking stressed.

I'm still not in the best place...I just feel like I never really dealt with my suicide attempt and it's just kind of weighing on me....

"Can I borrow a light?" Bray asks.

I light her cigarette. And she leans against the wall outside the studio.

"You didn't tell me you had such a good voice....and no accent when you sing." She says to me.

"I didn't tell you a lot of things...and yea I don't know many singers who can hold their accent when they sing." I tell her.

"See you said it yourself you are a singer." She says to me.

"That was a one time thing....we have to get this done and I actually agreed with your thought." I tell her.

"I don't know....:you heard what everyone else in the studio did....our voices together could really be something." She says.

"Not going to happen...I'm your producer and that's it. So if you could just listen to me and get through the last part of this song so we can get this demo out I can be on my way." I tell her.

Except we are well into the early hours of the next day and still not fucking done. At this point it is December 19th....it is Tessa's birthday and I am still in LA.

I haven't reached out to Tessa yet although she has texted me a bunch of times asking when I'll be back, why I didn't leave with Vance and what the fuck is going on?....

And I don't know why I haven't responded but I just want to finish this so I can fucking leave and be back to her for her birthday and be back for Emery.

I end up crashing on the couch outside the studio for a short 45 minute nap. Bray leaves and says she will be back in an hour....

I am on the verge of Tessa hating me again and missing her fucking birthday....but there is so fucking much riding on this demo and I just don't know if it's going to happen.

If anything that is suppose to happen and be right will fucking happen....