After Forever & Ever

Chapter 111

Tessa-Present

My heart hurts for him. I don't understand.

Being a mother I would never allow anyone to hurt my child. And Hardin was being hurt for years and he was so young, so helpless and he has gone his whole life thinking she just didn't know. And he protected her....he thought he protected her from knowing that someone she cared about did that to him.

And for him to find out that the constant which was his mother throughout his life allowed him to be abused...and now is justifying it this many years later is unthinkable...and now as Emery's grandmother I don't want her around her...and I know Hardin doesn't either. Which is hard because it is his mom but we both have sat and talked for hours and we both don't understand it.

We both cried...he told me heartbreaking stories of what happened to him. And his vulnerability felt freeing for him. I think he has held this in for so long and held it so deep that letting it go and talking about it with me helped him a lot. And as hard as it was to hear...I am beyond glad he told me and if anything it brought us closer than I even thought we could get.

His heart hurts....my heart hurts. He hasn't stopped apologizing for almost using again but he told me he was so desperate to make it stop. He seems better now...he is actually asleep we are laying on the couch together and he is passed out. I feel like his heartbeat just settled down I felt like having my hand on his chest I could feel his heart beating out of it he was so anxious over telling me and everything...and he feels calm now.

I knew his childhood was bad but I had no idea how bad...and honestly it makes more sense now why he is the way he is. Why he doesn't trust anybody...and probably even more so now.

His phone is buzzing and I can see the message is from Savannah...but he has it so just her name shows up and says text message not the actual message.

I trust him...but I just want to see what she is saying so I take his finger gently and open his phone. Slowly moving his arm from over me so I can bring his phone out of his view in case he wakes up.

'So when's our next movie night? ;)'

I take a deep breath....because well really -_-

I decide to respond and I text back 'probably never...'

'You are so cute when you are mean.' She replies.

Again deep breath Tessa... 'I have a girlfriend and we work together so we should probably just stick to that.' I text back.

'If you say so.' She texts back.

I quickly delete the messages and I tuck his phone back where it was. He pulls me into him tighter and still has his eyes closed and kisses me on the cheek. "I love you." He whispers.

"I love you too babe." I reply.

We cuddle for a while and then he gets up and tells me he's going outside for a cigarette.

His demeanor changes when he comes back in.

"Are you okay?" I ask him.

"Did you go through my phone?" He asks me.

"I...I saw Savannah texted you and...." I say and he interrupts.

"And what Tess...I thought we were fucking past you not trusting me....like I get the drug thing I'm still fucking dealing with that. But do you really think I would fucking cheat on you?" He yells at me.

"No I don't I'm sorry." I tell him.

"Fuck Tessa...I just told you the most personal shit something that was so fucking hard for me to do because I have 100% trust in you and us....and here we are..." he yells again.

I try to get close to him to hug him and tell him I'm sorry but he backs away.

"I need some air." He says and grabs his keys off the counter.

"Hardin wait!" I yell and walk out of the door after him stopping in front of him since he didn't get very far on his crutches.

"What?" He says looking away from me as my hand is placed on his chest.

"I'm sorry....I don't know why I did that." I tell him.

"I do...Because you still don't trust me." He says as he moves past me.

"I do trust you!" I yell after him. "Hardin!" "Hardin where are you going?!!" I keep yelling.

And he gets in his car and drives off...

"Damn it!" I say out loud and head back inside.

I call Vance. "Hey." I say to him.

"Tess what's wrong?" He asks.

"Hardin...he left and he was pissed at me and I went through his phone like an idiot and now he thinks I don't trust him....which I do. I don't know why I did it but I'm worried and his curfew is in 2 hours." I say in one breath to Vance.

"Tess take a deep breath he probably just needs a minute...let me try calling him and I'll call you back." Vance replies.

"Okay thanks." I say and hang up.

I wait and wait...Vance hasn't called back and no Hardin.

His curfew is up in 20 minutes...I'm officially getting nervous.

Now 15....now 10.

I call Vance again. "Did you hear from him?" I ask him.

"No...I was trying to track his phone but he has his location off." He tells me.

And just as I am about to respond to Vance...Hardin walks in.

"I got to go...he's here." I say and hang up.

"Where were you!??? And why is your hair wet?" I ask him.

"I was out." He simply replies. And then goes into his bedroom.

"Convenient that you would get back just as I have to leave." I say to him.

"Yea....good night Tess." He says and he takes his shirt off and then lays on his bed.

"Seriously Hardin." I yell at him.

"Here you want this so you can look through it some more..?" He asks holding his phone out and then I hear the knock on the door for curfew.

"Good night Hardin." I say and walk out.

I'm such an idiot I should have never gone through his phone now I have no idea what he was doing the past 2 hours and I don't think he looked like he was on anything but he is good at hiding things.

I don't understand why his hair was wet....

I just hope tomorrow is a new day and we can start fresh...