After Forever & Ever

Chapter 8

Tessa Present

I think the waiting is the worst part.

I do leave the hospital to go take a shower. And hopefully pass the time quicker. But I only allow myself an hour.

Even though the surgery will be hours I want to make sure I'm there.

When I get back. Just Ken is in the waiting room. I am not sure where everyone else went.

I go and sit down next to Ken.

"How are we doing Tessa?" He asks me.

"I'm alright, how are you?" I ask back.

"Doing okay, I'll be better when I know he's up." He replies.

"Me too." I say back.

"Look I am really sorry about what Landon said to you." He says.

"You don't have to apologize for him." I tell him.

"Landon has had to deal with a lot with Hardin...I get that but I guess I didn't realize how hard it really was on him" Ken explains.

"Me either." I reply.

"Can I ask you something...what was Landon talking about he told me Hardin got arrested over that girl?" I question.

"Hardin didn't tell you?" He asks.

"No." I simply respond.

"Up until about 2 months before he came back for Landon's wedding he was basically preparing to go to jail...for a long time" He says.

"What? Why?" I question confused.

"He was caught with a lot...I mean a lot of drugs and in the UK they don't mess around especially with dealers and so he was looking at maybe 15 years." He tells me.

"Wow." I say out loud.

"Another one of my regrets. I didn't believe him..." he says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"He said he was set up and I didn't believe him. And I didn't talk to him until he got back...well when I picked him up from jail in Seattle." He explains.

I pause just taking it all in.

"I could tell he was different though when he got back and that I should have trusted him and believed him and well helped him or tried. Meanwhile he was still doing great things with his music and his career even while going through that and I was proud of him and so happy to see him good I mean really good...
because the time before that was when I was seeing him lying in the hospital bed after knowing he tried to take his life....I couldn't handle that and I blamed myself. I still blame myself." Ken says.

"You can't do that Ken it wasn't your fault, it wasn't anyone's fault." I assure him as I give him a hug.

He takes a deep breath. "I have been sober for 20 years. 20 years Tessa! And last night I threw it all away." He tells me with disappointment in his voice.

I'm honestly surprised because he always seems so strong and put together. "It's okay Ken this has been a lot no one faults you for that." I try to assure him.

"I know it's hard to believe but Hardin was the happiest kid. He really was. He had an imagination like you wouldn't believe and you couldn't get that smile off his face..." he says as he starts to tear up.

"It sounds like you have really great memories of him as a kid." I reply.

Everyone returns to the waiting room from lunch.

4 hours have passed. And the doctor comes in.

"Can I speak to the parents?" The doctor says and Trish, Vance and Ken all stand up.

You can see the hurt all over Ken. Vance sits back down. "Go ahead Ken" he says.

I am trying to make out what the doctor is saying, but I can't.

They are finally done talking and come back. "What did he say?" I quickly question.

"The doctor said everything is going as well as they hoped and that they are looking closer to the 6 hour mark so about 2 more hours." Trish tells us.

I feel a huge sense of relief come over me. He's going to be okay I whisper to myself.

I feel like the next 2 hours pass by so slowly. And then 2 hours come and go. And now it's been 3 and I'm getting worried.

Trish goes to find someone to give us information on what's going on. There is a screen in the room that says he's still in surgery. Which is confusing since he should be out by now. Everyone else in the room has come and went and the person they were waiting for is now in recovery.

So what's going on? Now I'm officially starting to get worried.

She comes back and says they told her that he is still in surgery and that was all the information they could give.

We continue to wait and wait. Everyone is worried.

And finally at the 10 hour mark the screen changes to in recovery and my heart feels like it beats again. And then a half hour later the doctor comes back into the room.

I never seen Trish and Ken jump up so fast. "We ran into a complication.."I hear him say but I can't make out the rest. They keep talking and talking and finally I hear the doctor say "I could take 2 people back to see him".

Without even thinking I shoot up out of my seat "can I please see him?" I practically beg and Ken tells me Trish and I should go.

On the walk to the recovery room I ask Trish what happened?...

"He's okay sweetheart but they almost lost him his body went into shock and that was why it took longer than they had initially expected." She tells me.

I just choke back the tears.

"He's going to be okay right?" I ask

"Tessa...Because of the complication he was struggling to breath on his own. And I need you to be strong for him. But when we walk in there he is not breathing on his own he is on a machine and it's going to be scary for him when he wakes up. The doctor said it's most likely temporary but I know he was terrified of this so we just need to be positive for him. The bright side is they removed the entire tumor" She explains.

And more tears start to flow and I am trying so hard to hold them back.

I force myself to stop crying before we get to the room. I wipe my tears away and let Trish lead the way.

I take the biggest gasp. When I see him. He looks so lifeless and a big white and blue tube is coming from his mouth.

I pushed him into this and what if he doesn't get better than this....what if this is it?