After Forever & Ever

After Never Chapter 27

Hardin-Present

One thing I'm struggling with right now as I sit here in the car heading back to Tessa's place is the fact that my mom tried to justify everything.

Not once...not fucking once did she apologize.

She said she did it to protect me...

To fucking protect me.

Lied to fucking protect me....

I listened as long as I could but I lost it, I fucking lost it. I told her not to contact me and be gone when I get back.

She tried to plead with me, but when she realized I wasn't going to change my mind. She let me go.

So here I am left with the fact that my mum...the person you are supposed to trust with everything has been the person who has betrayed me the most.

And I'm not erasing the fact that she went through a lot because of Ken. I know she did, I know we both did. But I also know I went through a lot because of her. And to find out now at 21 that maybe...just maybe I didn't have to is hard to accept.

Because maybe I didn't have to go through getting the shit beat out of me for years of my life. Maybe I didn't have to go to school with sunglasses on to hide my eyes, or wear hoodies and pants in the summer to hide my bruises...and maybe I would have been able to hang onto my innocence for longer than I did...

Maybe I would be completely different now. Maybe everything would be different. Maybe the accident would have never happened. Maybe I would never get addicted to drugs.

All if my mom would have told me the truth.

But that's just it...she didn't. She didn't and my life has consisted of one fucked up thing after another.

So here I am fucking drowning in these thoughts. These thoughts I've buried for a long fucking time. And then you have something like this...where all these thoughts have no choice but to resurface.

And it sucks. It fucking sucks. Because all I want is to enjoy the fact that I have my girl back. Tessa who means more to me than anything.

And I've already snapped on her and been a dick to her and I hate that. I fucking hate that I am in such a bad head space...all because of my stupid fucking parents.

The two people who say they want so badly for me to do well and be successful. Yet they are the root of all my pain. All my fuck ups can circle back to them...

...I guess that's not true. Not all of them. But I'll go with most.

When we get back to Tessa's place I can't help but feel like her parking lot and the street is extra busy. Someone must be having a party I think to myself.

Only I realize very quickly that her apartment is the one with the party...I'm just not certain she knew that...and then she confirms what I already expected that she didn't know.

From what I can gather her roommate kind of sucks...

Tessa is clearly looking for her and when she finds her she's definitely not happy. And her roommate is definitely drunk.

It's when her roommate goes to put her arm around Tessa that I recognize the guy from the picture in her car...only he's standing here in her apartment...

Easton.

I can feel the heat in my body rising...and instinctively I've moved in his direction.

Only I'm quickly met with Tessa's hand on my chest pushing me back the other way.