After Forever & Ever

Chapter 47

Hardin-Present

I do feel bad that I wasn't up front with her...I should have been from the start. But again I've been pretty much doing my own thing for so long that.. I don't know if I know how to be a good boyfriend.

And I have to fucking dump those pills..

Tessa is laying on me and I get a text it's not a number I recognize. "Scott come downstairs"

I ignore it because what the fuck. But then they send a picture of being at the front door.

So I gently slide her off me. "Where are you going?" She questions.

"I forgot my wallet in my car I'm just going to go grab it." I tell her

"That's what your thinking about right now?" She questions again.

"Yea I don't know.." I reply and shut the door.

Going down the elevator I'm nervous for who it will be and I guess I should be because once I am in the lobby I can see Reed and Dean through the glass doors.

As soon as I walk out I just get fucking nailed in the stomach with a hard ass punch from Reed.

"What the fuck?" I say as I drop to my knees.

"We weren't done." Reed says.

"Well thanks for coming all the way here to tell me that but yes we fucking are." I reply as I stand up.

"Your little girlfriend is pregnant, huh?" He says to me.

"Leave her the fuck alone." I lunge at him this time Dean stands in our way.

"I don't think you want anything to happen to her plus you obviously know I know where she lives." He says to me.

"What do you want?" I ask.

Next thing I know I am getting woken up by Tessa's alarm.

"Fuck" I shoot up out of the bed. It was a fucking dream.

"What's wrong?"She asks

"Nothing...i'm fine." I reply

I guess a apart of me still thinks my past is going to come back and haunt me...because they don't let anyone off that easy. Yea I paid them but that's never been good enough before...

But I decide that isn't worth worrying about it was just a dream...or nightmare I should say.

Which I'm a little nervous that those are back. But again I'm not going to worry about it.

I decide to have coffee with Tessa before she leaves for work.

"So what was the meeting for last night?" She asks.

"Just another signing meeting...but I don't really want to be in New York." I tell her.

"Well where do you want to be?" She asks.

"Wherever you are." I tell her.

"You're killing me lately." She says.

"What do you mean?" I respond.

"You are just being so cute and sweet to me." She tells me.

"Well it's about time...right? I guess I couldn't be an ass forever. Plus you don't deserve that. I would have got rid of me a long time ago...but I'm glad you didn't." I tell her.

She stands up and comes behind me and grabs my face so I'm leaning up to look at her and she is kissing me.

I grab her hand to pull her so she is straddling me.

I start kissing her neck and she pulls away... "stop I'm going to be late for work." She says as she continues to kiss me.

"I thought you wanted me to stop." I say.

She pulls my pants down and I slide in under her dress.

Just a nice quickie before she leaves for work. I'm loving every second of her being close to me and on top of me.

I get off and I think she does too.

She kisses me on the forehead and goes into the bathroom.

She comes out and says "you messed up my makeup"

"I'm sorry won't happen again." I tell her.

I decide to leave when she does and as we are walking down she asks me "where was Vance yesterday?"

"He came with me to my doctors appointment..." I tell her.

"For your hand?" She asks.

"Yea...I'm going to need surgery otherwise I probably won't get the mobility back so I'm going to be having it on Friday." I tell her.

"Ugh I'm sorry" she tells me.

"It's not your fault." I say.

"I feel like it is." She replies.

"No I'm the fucking idiot who punched a wall." I say to her.

I walk her to her car and give her a kiss goodbye. "Call me later" I say. And she agrees and drives away.

When I get to my car I open the glovebox since that's where I put the pills. I just hold it in my hand for a while...there is a sewer right next to my car.

Just fucking dump it I keep telling myself I take the cap off and immediately put it back on.

"Fuck" I say out loud.

What is wrong with me...

I text Connor "Hi...it's Hardin I was wondering if we could meet."

"Yes of course sweetheart. Let's meet at the same place as last time." He texts back.

"Ok." I text back.

When I get there he is already waiting for me.

"Hi it's good to see you again." He tells me.

"Yea you too." I reply.

"How have you been after that night?" He asks me.

"I've been good...but I broke my hand and they gave me meds and I want to take them." I honestly tell him.

"Why? Does your hand hurt or you just want them?" He asks me.

"I guess I just want to take them." I tell him.

"Did you?" He questions.

"No." I reply honestly.

"See you are stronger than you think." He tells me.

"I guess but it should be a no brainer yet I still feel like I will risk fucking up" I tell him.

"Hardin your an addict that isn't just going to go away. Unfortunately this is your life." He tells me.

"Sometimes I feel like it would be easier just to use." I say to him.

"You know that's not true" he replies.

"I know..." I reply.

"Let's go to a meeting. How many days sober is it anyways? He asks.

"41 but probably about to be 0....I don't count being drugged." I say taking a deep breath.

Again what the fuck is wrong with me....