After Forever & Ever

Chapter 147

Hardin-Present

When I get to the jail and go through the typical search, mug shots, finger printing and then get my new get up for the next 90 days....I feel like an absolute piece of shit. And it sucks. It fucking sucks.

When the bars slam behind me....it hits me like a ton of bricks....

Every fuck up. Everything I did that lead to me being here floods back to me....

I do regret how I chose to leave. It was impulsive and stupid....but I also know the only person who could end this was me and if I testified I would always be looking over my shoulder and waiting for something like this to happen again.... because I guess in the back of my head I always knew what I did back in London would come back and bite me. I was on top of the world for too long. I got caught up at the end and made mistakes, made enemies and it was bound to catch up to me and it did.

The first night is always the worst.

Laying on a thin piece of fabric and a nonexistent pillow and a wash cloth for a blanket....

It sucks. It fucking sucks.

I didn't sleep at all not a single second. When they get us up at 6am. They make you line up for count then breakfast.

They pass out the visitor passes and they hand me one. I look down and see Savannah's name.

What the fuck does she want I immediately think to myself.

"Hey fresh meat." A guy says as he sits down and slides my tray out from under me and puts it next to him.

"Touch my shit again and I'll embarrass you in front of all your fucking friends in here." I say as I grab it back.

"Feisty. I like you." He says back to me.

"Fuck off." I reply.

"Watch your back Scott." He says as he walks away.

"What the fuck did you just say?" I ask getting in his face.

"I said watch your back...Scott." He replies.

"Inmate do we have a problem?"
The officer asks me.

"No...no problem." I reply and sit back down.

Fuckkk. I immediately think to myself maybe this 3 months isn't going to be as easy as I thought. Well not that I thought it was going to be easy but I guess I hoped I could skate by under the radar.

Since I have a visitor pass they brought me and the other inmates who had passes to a room where Savannah is already sitting at a table and so are all the other people visiting.

I look at her as I get uncuffed and then I have a seat in front of her.

"Why are you here?" Is the first thing out of my mouth.

"I'm worried about you." She replies.

"You realize I got here about 5 minutes ago...I think I'll be fine." I tell her.

"JJ knows I have feelings for you and he knows people on the inside and I just want to make sure you look out for yourself." She tells me.

"So you thought coming to visit me would make things better?" I ask her.

"I just care about you Hardin and I know you don't feel the same but I still think we could be something after all of this." She says to me.

"No...no we can't. We never will. I actually never want to see you again and I want you to just leave me the fuck alone." I say to her in a fairly calm tone so I don't get myself in trouble.

"I'm done here." I say raising my hand so the guard comes over. He puts the cuffs back on and takes me back to my cell.

The last time I was in here even back on meds I told myself to keep a clear head. It was hard because I had just killed Dean. And it brought me back to all the blood I have on my hands.

I started thinking a lot about Julianna. She did a lot of fucked up shit to me. But before Gio was gone she was a good person and then she got caught up too and even her I feel responsible for. I feel like if I never met Gio maybe they both would still be alive....

And then there is Zed. I should have protected him when that's all he was trying to do for me....I failed him.

I'm already not doing a good job of keeping a clear head. My thoughts are racing and I feel like I am going to drive myself crazy the next 3 months.

I have no idea what's going through Tessa's head and I always go back to the night of Landon's wedding. I should have let her be. I should have let her live her life thinking I'm the asshole that I so clearly am. But the asshole she never had to deal with again.

And now I fucking married her and I'm sitting in jail for the next 3 months.... how fucked up is that.

I spend the next week in the same thought pattern. And it's tearing me up. I know I told Tessa I didn't want her to visit but every fucking day I'm hoping for a pass just so I could see her, talk to her....know what's going through her head.

Luckily I've been pretty much left alone since that first day. I don't know if what I said told people not to fuck with me or what....but I'm fine with keeping to myself.

I guess today is my lucky day one of the guards hands me a visitor pass. Except when I get to the visitor room it's not Tessa. It's Vance....and Adler.....what the fuck is Adler doing here? I quickly think to myself.

The guard takes the handcuffs off my wrists and I sit down. "Hey son, are you doing okay?" Vance asks me.

"Yea fine." I abruptly reply.

"Hardin, I know you're probably wondering why I'm here." Adler says not wasting any time.

"Umm yea." I reply.

"Reed is going to walk free...unless you testify." Adler tells me.

"How is that possible?" I quickly question.

"He's had strings pulled for him for a long time, and back in London they don't have anything substantial to keep him there. Unless you give him up for everything you guys did back then and recently." Adler tells me.

"So i have to go to London? And then what?" I ask him.

"Well you will be called as a witness and you will give your testimony..." Adler tells me.

I interrupt.... "how do I know my family is going to be kept safe?" I ask him

"Hardin we are exploring a couple of options." Vance  answers.

"What does that mean?" I ask.

"We can explain more. You are going to be released with the expectation you are hopping on a plane tonight to London to give your initial testimony to at least keep him where he's at until the actual trial." Adler tells me.

I'm so fucking confused by all of this. Even though I'm being released I am feeling the furthest thing from free and everything I was afraid of is right in front of me....and I know it's not going anywhere.

Fuck.

***I promise more frequent updates are headed your way. I finished school today so I'll have much more time to write. So sorry for the delays but thank you for keeping your investment in this story. Love you all 💕