After Forever & Ever

Chapter 27

Hardin

I don't know how this happened but I was able to walk into Reed's place throw the cash on the table and walk out.

Are we good?...I have no idea. And probably not.... But I am hoping to leave that behind and do what I have to do so I can get back to Tessa.

Vance wanted to go with me and I forced him to stay back. I arrived back and he looks happy?..

"How did it go?" He asks.

"Uhh okay I guess, I gave the money and I left." I pause. "Thank you" I tell him with which it was hard to take the money from him it really was. It felt pretty fucking shitty.

"I just got off the phone with Adler...I don't know how but he got the 30 days in jail to 30 days in rehab. So you don't have to turn yourself in." He tells me.

"Wow...that is good news. And not what I was expecting." I reply.

Fuck that's amazing. Are things finally going to turn around for me? Am I finally going to be able to be fucking happy for once? And have a life with Tessa and our baby...

"I want to go today I don't want to waste anymore time." I tell Vance.

"Okay I'll take you." He replies.

I go to my room and start packing my clothes...not that I need much.

I try calling Tessa again....still straight to voicemail. I decide to call Zed. It's probably around 10 am their time. And it's 6pm here.

"Hey bro what's up" Zed says into the phone.

"Not much man I'm going to be going into Rehab tonight and I wasn't sure if you had gotten the chance to see or talk to Tessa yet..." I say to him.

"Yea man, Uhh we got coffee together. She is doing pretty well she's staying busy with work and she seemed good." He tells me.

"That's good.... Alright well I'll be there in a month hopefully. Don't do anything fucking stupid." I tell him half jokingly.

"Dude we are past that I got you." He assures me.

And I don't know if I believe him. But if he is fucking smart he will listen.

Every other time I have gone to rehab the last thing that I wanted to do was go and Now....I can't fucking wait to go. Because the sooner I get through this then I can try to have a fucking life, a normal one.

When we arrive I tell Vance that I am just going to go in by myself. He is going to be leaving to go back home tomorrow and I think he is scared to well leave me but he knows he needs to get back to his life as well.

"I'm proud of you kid." He tells me.

"You're proud of me?" I question.

"Yea, you are doing the right thing and I can tell it's different now you want to make things right." He says to me.

"Yea....well I do." I reply back.

"I'm going to miss you....and I will be back for your last day....I was going to come back with your mother I know she said she was going to stay in the states for these few weeks." He says.

"Ok." I reply as I get out of the car and throw my bag on the trunk.

Vance gets out as well.

"Can you just tell Tessa I love her...I know she's not really talking to me and I don't blame her.." I say

He interrupts "yes I will"

He gives me a hug...

"I'll miss you too and thanks again." I say to him as I let go and walk away to go in.

I wish I could have talked to Tessa before going in because now I really won't be able to. I just hope that the space she gets from this is what she needs and we can finally be good when I get to Seattle.

It has to be...Right? I can't go through all this shit and us still not work...

God I fucking hope so.

When I arrive in I go through the usual paperwork, search my things, search me ...just the works. Oh and then I still have my maintenance chemo on Wednesdays and then the day I get out I have a procedure scheduled to get the port removed finally....

Can't wait to be done with cancer too. Although  surprisingly the last day or so I have felt healthy again. I can't remember the last time I didn't feel sick.

It just really feels like everything is finally turning around for the better and I feel like I don't deserve it but I am getting another chance that I'm not going to blow this time.

I just love her so fucking much. And I know I've been an idiot, a fucking selfish asshole I get that but I want to be better for her. I have to be.

Thank god they gave me a room with no roommate so I can at least avoid the initial trouble I had last time.

I actually do want to be clean and stay clean. I didn't want that before because well I just didn't care. And I didn't have anything to care about.

But now everything is on the line. And I know I have a lot I need to still make right...I just hope it's not too late.

Because well my heart breaks at the thought of it not being okay...

When I get settled in my room it's about 9PM. One of the staff members came in and knocked on my door.

"Hey you good man, any questions?" He asks me.

"Nah, not my first time around." I tell him.

"Okay well if you need anything I'm Brett." He replies.

"I'll take a shot of whiskey." I say and immediately regret it.

He shakes his head and walks out.

Tough crowd I think to myself.

Then it finally sinks in this is going to be a long 30 days...